


Found of you

by Septic84



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, Septiplier AWAY - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Blood, Coma, M/M, Major Injury, NSFW, breathing tube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:42:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 36,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septic84/pseuds/Septic84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not a quick smut read.  This is an actual story with plot and character development.<br/>There will be or is smut in this. So if that offends you, move on.<br/>Mark invites Jack for a visit and true feelings are slowly revealed.<br/>Love, angst and the feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The people they are.

**Author's Note:**

> I believe in making a setting for a story, so there will be that in this. I also know there were be some adult situations in this as well. I really hope you enjoy it

He was so self conscious of himself, shy and timid. I think that's what surprised me the most about Jacksepticeye. In his videos, he was so loud, excitable and energetic; but when we finally got to play games together he was shy and stammering over his words . I could tell he was nervous and excited to play with Bob, Wade and me. He was trying too hard, he seemed inexperienced and young. He was embarrassed and awkward. It was painful to watch, actually. I wish he could have relaxed a little bit, I mean after all,we were just playing games.

Bob brought it to my attention that Jack idolized and was"fanboying" over me. I had a suspicion this was the case, but I didn't realize how much it influenced him. It was very flattering. I was just playing with a friend, while he was playing with his idol. I knew he liked my work, but the reality of witnessing this was a shock really.

I sent a few messages to him on Twitter, we could speak just fine in text, but when we Skyped he would started to stammer and blush. He blushed a lot. I wasn't trying to embarrass him but somehow I always did. 

Jack's popularity on YouTube was growing, his channel increased in numbers more and more every day. He was getting accustomed to who he was as a Youtuber, and I could see how excited he was. He was always so genuine with his subs, he honestly was grateful to them. This is how I am with my subs, so I understand and respect this a lot. I know how easy it is to go the other way. 

We were playing regular colabs at this point and though he was still nervous, we were starting to get to know each other's sense of humor. We easily played off of each other's jokes and had lots of fun together. We started to talk regularly, Twitter, Skype and over text. 

We got to finally meet face to face at conventions. We were on panels together, ate together, signed things together and at one point were even in the same hotel. He was still reserved and I seemed to embarrass him, a lot. He was constantly blushing. I could tell he was still nervous about being there, but in a overly excited little kid way. He was soaking it all in, trying to be as collected as he could be. I watched him pace in place on stage, and heard his voice crack as he spoke. He didn't know it, but everyone loved him and hung on his every word. Literally. When we were signing and fans would tell him that he had changed their life, he still couldn't believe it. He hugged anyone who wanted it, and thanked them repeatedly. Jack was watching his dreams come true, and I was watching a friend come into his own. It was sad to leave those conventions, I knew we would miss each other. We still spoke all the time and were great friends. 

I asked Jack to come to my place for a visit and it turned out to be the week of his birthday. I was excited to see him again. We were kindred spirits and I was having the time of my life. We went to an amusement park and hung out other Youtubers, we played games at an arcade, we were just goofing off, it was like we were kids without a care in the world. Jack was so funny, and he knew how to make each of us laugh. 

Later in the week we had had a lazy day, we cooked out and were sitting at the table, eating and drinking beer. 

"So... You wanna play some games?" He asked hopefully 

"You mean do I want to make you lose at games." I teased. 

"Yeh, that." He chuckled 

We set up the game and both grabbed few more beers a piece.

We had played for about an hour and Jack was getting drunk. He maybe Irish, but his alcohol tolerance was surprisingly low. He started to slur his speech and giggle, and laugh. This was the real Jack laugh, loud and deep. I couldn't help but grin like a fool when I heard it. Some time had past, I hadn't realized the silence, and before I knew it he was half asleep laying on me. 

My heart started to beat rapidly, my palms sweat and I tensed; however the contact was strangely comforting. I didn't want to disturb him, he was adorable. The automatic acceptance of that thought took me by surprise. My nerves all felt as if they had been ignited and my heart pounded in my ears. It became too much to bear, too many sensations, too many feelings. I couldn't take it anymore, I cleared my throat and shifted, he woke up .

He looked at me, he was red with shame "Oh. Sorry, I am a sad excuse for an Irishman huh?" He stood up sloppily and stumbled a little. "FOOK IT!" he screamed at the room.

"Sad excuse?" I laughed. "Lamest Irishman, ever." 

He smirked and attempted to wink. "Yeh, I can't hol me drink." He yawned

"Well I'm beat, ready to call it a night?"

"Yeah." He turned to walk to the guest room.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?" 

"I ramble a lot so just go with me on this. I am sure I sound stupid, like a loser, or even a fanboy... Yes I know what the others say. But I am really grateful you came a long... because I didn't have any friends. I was alone in my log cabin in the woods, yelling at my camera day after day, just hoping someone, anyone would notice me. The loneliness ached, sometimes more than I could stand. I was so alone." He turned red and stared at his feet. " And now... here I am. At my inspirations house. It blows my mind. So Thank you, for saving me from myself." he rolled his eyes at himself. "Wow, wasn't intending on being a walking cliche..."

I tensed up, the thought of him lonely and alone for years really disturbed me. Jack just stared at me, "Say something, stupid!" I thought to myself. I smiled at him.

"I am glad you are here, Jack. You are a great friend"

He blushed deeply "Good night."

"Night."

Yes. He was adorable.


	2. Tence awkwardness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get interesting.

The next morning I woke up and started breakfast. I was confused and flustered about the way yesterday had gone, the way I felt and how my body reacted. I was scared. I felt foolish and shy. Jack was an amazing person, he was so kind and loving... it was intimidating to think my feelings towards him had changed. I wasn't sure how yet, but they had. As I was preparing breakfast, thoughts were coming to my head. Suddenly, I started to remember bits and pieces of conversations, facial expressions, gestures and smiles. He truly was adorable. I was smiling to myself, thinking of him, I sighed, what was this wrong? Jack was a friend, a buddy. 

I heard footsteps behind me . "Coffee?" I offered.

"Oh yes." He replied. He looked messy and hung over. 

"Feeling a little rough, Jackaboy? We have had a busy week."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah" I smiled at him.

He peeked up at me through his eyelashes. "Listen, Mark... about passing out on you, literally.." I could tell he was mortified . His ears were beet red and he stared at his feet.

I chuckled. "Hey, it's fine. You should know, however, I now have some amazing blackmail pictures." He started to laugh.

We cleaned up and ate breakfast immediately followed by walking out the door. The rest of the day was pretty busy, meeting other Youtubers, doing a couple of interviews and meeting random people on the street, taking pictures and talking. It was always exciting to meet fans, and Jack, much like myself, honestly wanted to talk with everyone who approached him. It had been a long fulfilling day, but I was ready to head home.

Jack looked beat, but he insisted on playing games again. I could tell he was still embarrassed about the night prior so I didn't give him too much strife about it. We had been playing for a while when I remembered we had not actually eaten dinner. 

"Want something to eat?"

He made his best attempt to stifle a yawn. "Sure. Sounds good." He was forcing to keep himself awake.

I got up to go get snacks and when I came back Jack was curled into a ball, sleeping half propped up against the back of the couch. I set down the snacks and went over to him, he was dead asleep. He looked so peaceful, and as hokey as it is to say, Angelic. I watched him sleep, his eyes move, his lips purse. He was very attractive, there were butterflies in my stomach. "Snap out of it Mark, this is nuts."

I started to get uncomfortable again, but I was no longer in control. Without really realizing what I was doing, I sat next to him and slowly shifted my weight towards him. My heart was racing, but the speed increased when our bodies made contact. Jack started to uncurl and somehow he fell against me and his head landed on my chest. I slowly and carefully wrapped my arms around him as he slept on me. I was exhilarated, I was nervous, but I was happy. My body was on fire, my heart was singing. I felt like this was the way it was supposed to be, as if this was our destiny. 

As I could feel his chest rise and fall, I relaxed and listen to him breathe. I was satisfied, contented. A sad thought crossed my mind, how am I going to survive him going back to Ireland? 

Holy Shit. Was I falling in love with Jack Septiceye? I didn't know, it wasn't a thought I had ever had about a friend, especially one who wasn't female. I rested my head on his, inhaling his scent. He started to mutter in his sleep, shifted and then had his arms wrapped around my torso, he was holding me too. I sighed, this was so wonderful. Everything else just melted away, fear, stress and sadness, just gone. 

I must've fallen asleep, I felt movement and then Jack jerked awake and went ridged. I could feel his heart thumping against the walls of his chest. I didn't move, I feigned sleep and watched what was unfolding out of my half shut eyes. Jack slowly untangled himself from me, stood up and paced a little. I could tell he was scared. He ran his hands through his hair and stared at me, frowning.

"Oh Fook." I heard him whisper, shaking his head as if to rid himself of some unpleasant thought. He paced more, looked at his feet and then moved closer to me. He was shaking, Jack looked at me again, it was as if he was having an inner battle as I was earlier. He sighed, and smiled and whispered just loudly enough so it was audible. "Now he will get cold." I smirked. He turned, grabbed a blanket and spread it out over me, tucking it behind my shoulders. He held on to my shoulders for a little while, just looking at me. My pulse skyrocketed from him touching me and being so close to my face. He pulled back, looked at me, hesitated slightly, then kissed me on the forehead. He backed away quickly, without grace, and hit his shins on table. It was as if he couldn't believe what had just happened. "Get it together, Jack." He whispered to himself. 

He softly spun on his heels and headed quietly to the guest room. The door hardly "clicked" when it shut. 

My head was spinning, what just happened? He kissed my forehead, he was so close to my lips... my heart about beat out of my chest. What was happening to us? It is not just me then, It can't be. Jack was so shocked by his feelings that they seemingly frightened him. I sat there for about 20 minutes, just reciting what had happened in my head. The light was still on in the guest room, and I could see the shadow of his feet pacing underneath the door. He was obviously thinking about what had just happened too. 

I got up and knocked at the door. The pacing shadow stopped. "Yeah..?" He choked, hesitantly. 

"Hey, are you okay." I faked a yawn to imply I had just woken up. "I heard you pacing... sorry I fell asleep..."

"Yeah, it's okay...sorry to wake you, just jet lag I guess." It was his turn to fake a yawn. "I think I may actually be able to sleep now."

"Okay, do you need anything?"

"No! I mean no, thanks, Mark. I'm fine."

"Okay, I'll let you sleep."

"Night Mark."

"Night. Hey Jack?" 

"Yeah?" there was a lot of fear and confusion in his voice.

My voice cracked, I sounded awkward and uneasy. "Thanks for covering me up. Night." 

With that I headed to my room to sleep. I felt foolish , gitty and lost. I hope I didn't make things worse by acknowledging him covering me up. I wonder if he was embarrassed about what had happened. I was worried. This was hell. What were we going to do now?


	3. Jump Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...But to where? And who will save him?

It was 11 AM I had obviously overslept. I wonder what type of message this was sending to Jack, I hope it didn't send the message that I was avoiding him. I stumbled out of my room preparing to apologize for being in bed so long. I went through the living room and the kitchen he was not there. I went to the room and knocked twice. I slowly open the door and I realize that the room was empty, all of his stuff was gone.

I went back into the kitchen and sat down. Oh no this is awful. The worst possible outcome was now my present situation. Where did he go? Was he okay? I looked at my phone. One voicemail, it was him. 

"Mark... went to a local hotel. After last night... well the last two nights, Ah. If yeh never want to talk to me again I get it. I hope that we can just keep up with appearances for both our channels and our Subs sake" 

I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to fix this, I wanted him here.

He muttered something I couldn't make out.

"... Well, later"

This was painful. This is my fault, this was all my fault. If I had just went to bed, and not sat next to him... or just woken him up again... I regretted what had happened solely because I was certain it had ruined our friendship, or whatever it is that we had. 

I called him, it went straight to voicemail "Jack. Where are you? I nev- you shouldn't have left. We, ah." I sighed " Call me"

What should I do? Leave him alone and not smother him? Should I go look for him? Keep calling him? I wasn't sure, I didn't know what was best, but I did know that my worry was increasing more minute by minute. 

I had to make and edit at least one video for the day. I sat down and started the video, I tried but I was so sad and anxious that it turned out awful. The commentary was crap, the quality was bad. I'm lucky that my subscribers are so forgiving .

I looked at my phone, nothing. I decided to check Jack's Twitter feed. He had tweeted, there was a post from about four hours ago. Damn it.

"Ever messed up something in your life so bad, that you fear nothing will ever be the same again?"

There were about 300 replies from Youtubers and Fans alike. Everyone was worried, or giving him encouragement, showing him love. I hope he sees this, He needs to see this. I was beside myself.

Not only was he upset, but he was blaming himself. This was not his fault it was mine. My heart was breaking into million pieces, I needed him to know that it wasn't his fault. I needed to talk to him, see him. I called him and again, it went straight to voicemail 

"Yeah, it's me... I know ... Things... I'm just, after that tweet. Can you just call me ?"

I wasn't sure what else to do but I felt like I shouldn't just be sitting here, but I also felt like I was smothering him too. I debated back and forth for about 20 minutes before I grabbed my keys, went to my car and started to drive. I had no idea where I was going, after all they were many hotels near me and I had no idea which direction he went. I started stopping and asking if anyone had seen him but they had not.

I was about three hours into my journey when I decided it was time to go home. I was sad, beat up and exhausted. I pulled over under a streetlight and decided to leave one more message for Jack.

" Things are messed up right now. Are you lost? You are not from around here, and I am worried.. about-" My voice got harsh " I mean this is so stu ... Why are you doing this? Dammit Jack!" I softened my voice and it shook.

" Sean... just call me!!"

I started the head home, about an hour into my journey, my phone chimed as if I had a voicemail. The damn thing never even rang. I pulled over to the side of the road and checked it. It was Jack. My mouth went dry and my heart was in my throat. I played the message.

He sounded strange, there was a lot of noise in the background. "Mark. I dunno what to say. It May be that you are just too needy... Hey, that's right. We are Youtubers together. You are the great." He imitated my voice "Markiplier." He laughed at himself. " It May be that you are MY fan boy. HA. The great and mighty Markiplier a fanboy of a snot nosed shite from Ireland. There's a thought" He was beyond drunk, maybe even bordering into alcohol poisoning. Where the hell was he? There was a clattering sound "Oh shite. Spilled." More commotion, he forced a laugh. There were voices, a lot of voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying. There was no way he was at a hotel. He was at a damned bar. After all this worry and looking, he was partying. Anger surged in me.

"Soooo here's the thing. Marky. I am not at a hotel. Was on me way I was, but I stopped at this Pub 'round the corner, never left." His Irish dialect and accent were stronger when he was drunk. "Been drinking me probl-, Yes, another. hard to stand... HEY MA!" He yelled. "I'm Awesome! I am doone with... leave me the fook alone, Mark. He sighed " I'm grown... so I don't need you-"

Somebody yelled "Shut up!" he slurred. "Holy Hell." It sounded like he had fallen down, the phone clattered to the floor. 

"Oh Fook." I heard him scramble to his feet and pick up the phone.

His voice was lighter and had a hint of sadness now. " Um Well bye," He cleared his throat. "Badgers. Hey.. listen I-I....about the last two days. I nev-" He lowered his voice "Mark...So sorry." He sniffled, was he crying? There was a pause, a deep inhale and In a deep, low, pained voice he whispered "Septiplier away." and quickly hung up.

Everything stopped like in the movies when the big reveal happens. I couldn't believe what I had heard.. What did he just say? He was very drunk, but I am certain he just said.... I played it back. He said it. The joke... wasn't so much a joke anymore. 

I needed to get to him, He was not okay to be alone. I hoped he wasn't hurt, in a fight or worse, had gotten arrested. I started to drive, I was at least an hour away, I sped.

I got the the bar near my house and peered into the window. There at the bar I saw a slouched over Irishman, the green tuft of hair like a beacon to lead me to him. There he was. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked in. He was extremely drunk, loud, yelling and swearing. He was being an asshole. He his face was pale, his eyes were glossy, red and puffy. He HAD been crying. He was surrounded by people, taking pictures and drinking.. Oh this wasn't good... not at all. These people are going to chew him up and spit him out, taking his career with them.

I quickly pulled out my phone, damage control. I took a quick picture and posted it on Twitter. I got the bar, blurred people and that green tuft of hair. I hoped that was good enough. My hands were shaking. I was afraid and angry. Very angry.

I posted "I accidently got my Irish friend annihilated by drink. Sorry Buddy. #marksanidiot #sorryforyourheadtomorrow." and played it off like a joke, this was my fault anyway. 

I hoped this would help negate some of the damage he had already done to his image. I knew this would devastate him, he would be crushed if he thought for one second he had let his Subs down. 

I started towards him, silently praying that he wouldn't be so drunk and angry that he would want to fight. I could fight him, but I wouldn't. Even if he hit me. 

"Well, here we go." I said aloud to myself and I walked towards him.


	4. It's exactly what you would think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack needs to be rescued, but Mark is angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. I would like to hear your thoughts...

Jack turned and saw me.

"MARKY!!!" He squealed. He smiled and waved, almost falling off his stool. 

Through clenched teeth I said "Hey." and put my hand on his back so he wouldn't fall again. I leaned in closer so he could hear me. "Time to go, Jack, buddy."

He looked at me, first confused, then happy. Then he got mad. "GO?! No. Don't wanna. Especially with you. You may hate me, but these people are my friends, Mark! They don't want to babysit me, they want party!!"

I stiffened up, trying to deflect he hurt that washed over me. "Jack, I'm serio-"

He cut me off "No, Fook off. Don't be a dick, Mark."

The hurt grew into anger. He was being an asshole. I grabbed his arm, got him off of the barstool and started to lead him out the door. He tried to pull away, but was so drunk that he would have fallen again if I had not had him by the arm. He glared at me, fire flashing anger in his eyes. I had never seen this look on him before. He Started to ball his fist, I placed my other hand on top of it and pushed it down, then I yanked him close, so I was speaking right in his ear.

"Stop it, Jack." He started to pull away, I pulled him close again "Knock it off. Listen, Ass, we need to get the hell out of here before your subs wake up to " Top of the mornin' to ya laddies my name is Drunk Septiceye" pictures and memes." He dropped his hands down and relaxed a bit.

I looked him in the eyes, the anger was gone. "Yeah, now you get it? I did some damage control, but we have to leave, Jack. NOW." I was mad and breathing heavy, adrenalin was pumping through me, I felt sick, I was shaking. 

He pulled away, panic and shame on his face. He had lost himself and his judgement was clouded. He then realized who he was, where he was, and the repercussions that may accompany this choice he had made. This was the Jack I knew. He softened. 

"Oh fookin hell... " He said. "I- I'm.. Just get me out of here." I walked him out, holding him up. We got out to my car, I opened the front door, he could hardly stand or hold his head up. I felt guilt again, this too was my fault. I should have known better... I should have been more aware of his insecurities and been more careful. I should have kept better tabs on him, I should hav-

"Mar-"

"Not. Now. I am so mad at you." I hissed. That had been somewhat of a lie; I was so mad at him, but mostly at myself. He had no control of himself at this point. I had hurt his feelings, that sunk in my gut like a rock. There were tears in his eyes, but they never fell to his cheeks. I got him onto the seat, I had to buckle him in. I grabbed the belt, my hands were still shaking. I was only inches away from his face. My breath hitched, I hesitated a second and suddenly I was staring deeply into his eyes. He gazed back, his eyes half shut, but our eyes were having an unspoken conversation. Time stood still and the air was alive with sparks of color. Spinning, floating and surreal. The loud voices rudely interrupted our conversation, people started to come out of the bar. I snapped out of it. I quickly buckled him and went to my side. I started the car.

"Woo, look at all the people. Who am I? Jack sepsis eyeballs." He pointed at his eye and laughed at himself. He was so damned cute right now. Damn it, how does he do that? He hiccupped and suddenly brought his hand to his mouth. 

"Jack. Do not throw up in my car. I am not fucking kidding"

He laughed, loudly. This was his real laugh. He snorted, and laughed more. 

"What the hell is so damned funny, Jack?"

He laughed even louder, I felt the corners of my mouth start to lift into a smile. It was his laugh. Damn it, I was mad a few minutes ago, but in that moment, it all melted away. 

"You. All Daddyplier. "Don't throws up in me car Jack!" Even talking about puke your voice is cool and sexy"

I shook my head and laughed in spite of myself. "Well the ladies do love the voice." 

"Yeah, who doesn't," he paused "know that. You doof. You're an asshole." He giggled

"Well, yeah. So are you, Sepsis eyeballs."

"Fook off, Mark." He was being playful now, not mean. He leaned his head against the window.

We got back to my house, Jack was hardly conscious. 

"Jack, we're here."

"Right, I can do this." He reached for the door handle, struggled to find it and finally opened the door. I sprinted out of the car quickly so he wouldn't fall and bust his head open on my driveway. He tried to stand, but his belt was still on. I laughed loudly. He was so confused and started to look mad.

"Just let me help, Jack. You are extreamly drunk. Seat belts are too advanced of a level for you, tonight." I tried to suppress my laughter. 

"Fine." He snapped. 

I reached over him again to undo the belt. Electricity sparked the air. Jack inhaled sharply. I put my lips close to his ear and whispered "Almost got it, Jack" He moaned. My mouth went dry. I got him out of the car, and led him in the house. I fumbled to unlock to door, trying to support him so he didn't fall. Jack was dead weight and flailing his arms. "Jack, stay still man." He was small, but holy shit was he heavy right now. 

"I gotta pee, Markimoo." He said in a high, sing song voice. "Okay, hang on." I shook my head, got him in the house and lead him to the bathroom. I went back to shut then locked the door. I rested my head on it for a moment. The cool aluminum helped me to relaxed a little. I had no idea what was about to happen, but I knew that he was safe. At this moment, that is all that mattered. I heard the toilet flush, the sink run, then the door open. He stumbled into the door frame and started to lose his balance. I caught him and helped him onto the bed, in the room where this horrible day had begun.

I got two bottles of water, and the bottle of Advil to put in the room, I was sure he would need it. I went back to the room, setting them on the nightstand. 

He was on his back, staring at the ceiling. "Hey, you okay? You shouldn't be on your back" Daddyplier, I thought and rolled my eyes. 

He closed his eyes and sighed. "No. I am way too drunk Mark. I have never been this.. and my thoughts... I am not okay." His voice shook.

"Yeah, me either." I agreed. "You really scared me, you know? Why the hell did you leave?"

He sighed "I figured after." He looked at me, sighed and continued. "I kissed you, you would want me out. I was trying to save us both the awkward situation. But I guess that went balls up, didn't it? Because there you are, rushing in to save me when I-" He stopped, leaped out of bed and went into the bathroom. This was going to be a long night, but at least it wasn't in my car...

We had been up for hours, sitting on the floor of my bathroom. We couldn't go back to the bed because he was sick so often. Jack was miserable, it was to the point that I almost called an ambulance when it seemed as if he was done. He was exhausted, and weak from the continuous vomiting. I wiped his face with a cool cloth off and helped him take sips of water, that he repeatedly threw back up, that now seemed to be staying down Day light started to come in the window, he had been still for awhile now after taking a few good gulps of water. I was hoping he was done.

He had sobered up slightly "My God, just kill me already." He groaned 

"I think the worst of it has passed."

"Mark- I am so sorr-"

"Stop, not now. It's okay Jack, you are safe and you don't have to worry about anything right now other than keeping down that water."

"Just..." He lifted his head and smiled a little "Thanks."

"What are friends for?"

I was right, Jack had finally stopped vomiting. I looked at my watch, it was 10:00am. Holy shit was I tired and my back hurt from sitting on the floor for so long. He was passed out leaning against the toilet. "Jack," I patted his shoulder "Hey, why don't you go to the bed?"

He woke up, and picked up his head. "Oh my god my head." He grabbed his head and slumped over the toilet again, he couldn't move. I looked at him, stood up then scooped him up and held him tightly to my body. I held him close and gently. 

"Mark, what the hell?" He went limp in my arms.

"Relax."

I carried him slowly to the bed and laid him down. 

"Ah, thanks." He said, embarrassed as usual. 

I laid down next to him. "You're welcome. I want to make sure your okay before I leave you alone."

He was ashamed. "I'm fine, Mark. Go. You can go sleep. You must be exhausted."

Anger and fear gripped me. I scowled. "Yeah, the last time I heard "I'm fine." I woke up to you gone, was driving around for hours to different hotels, even though I had NO IDEA where you were trying to find you. Only to find you were not at a hotel all, but a fucking bar!" I couldn't keep the hurt or the panic out of my voice. "So no thanks, I'll stay here."

His voice trembled slightly filled with sadness. "You...For hours?"

"Of COURSE I did... what did you think? That I hated you? That I wanted you to leave suddenly with only a lame ass voicemail? What Jack? Because I cannot figure it out. I can't figure anything out that happened really. Though I have tried over and over again. What you don't know is that I was the one who started it, Jack. Not you. I started it when you passed out on me the first time. You left and blamed yourself for something you knew nothing about. I held you. I wanted too. You were drawn to me, You held me. You freaked out when you woke up... I was awake, I saw and heard it all. I know Jack. But this is my fault. Not yours. I did this-" I motioned to his drunken body. I softened my voice. "And anything that has happened, or will happen... the blame is mine alone." There was regret in my voice. 

"Mark---"

"No. My fault. Of course had you just gone to a fucking hotel... Sorry. I tried to figure out what the hell I was thinking, or feeling. This scares the hell out of me. When you were cuddling into me, my world stopped. I tired to figure it out, but I couldn't, I still can't. I had a lot of time to think. But still..."

He cut me off "Yeah, I know." He turned towards me, looking me in the eyes. "Look, didn't intend on this to happen, Mark, whatever it is. I just happy to see my friend. And I didn't mean to scare you, or leave or even go to the damned Pub. I really just wanted to be with you. Even though I thought you would never want to see me again and that I ... well I thought I had fucked up any type of relationship we had had together, for good."

"Well you didn't. Okay, you are still very drunk and need to rest Jack."

"I know. No one has ever saved me before, and I feel cherished and ashamed. You are an amazing friend to me, even when I ignored your pleas... and I can't remember all that I said, but I am sure there were some really mean things. I am sorry." He yawned "You are amazing, Mark." He continued to look at me, his eyes slowly shutting. I just stayed quiet. He was about sleeping, his eyes fluttered, his breathing deepened and he started to relax. I had watched him sleep for about 10 minutes, suddenly he started to moan and muttered in his sleep. "I am pretty sure I am in love with you." He didn't know what he was saying. He wiggled his way to me and wedge himself up under my arm and laid on my chest. 

My heart raced, but I was finally able to relax myself. I took a deep break and I lost it, I started to cry silently as he slept. Too much stress and emotion had built up. I stopped crying, kissed the top of his head and whispered. "Me too, Jack, Me too." I pulled the covers over both of us, pulled him closer and went to sleep.


	5. The people we have become.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be True

I was suddenly jolted awake, shit, what was going on? When I got my senses about me realized that Jack was still on my chest sleeping soundly, he was safe . I struggle to look at the clock, 6PM. We have literally spent the whole day in bed sleeping together. I slowly stretch my legs and shifted a little, but still he slept. I didn't want to wake him. I am sure he felt like shit after the massive amount he drank. I could smell the liquor seeping out of his pores. I sighed. There was a lot of bullshit yesterday and part of me was still pretty upset. I was deep in thought when he stirred, then woke up. He lifted his head and looked up at me, analyzing the situation. Our arms were still around each other and his body was on my chest. I tried to read his thoughts, his expression was not readable. I was worried about his reaction, would he panic again? Would he be happy? Was he going to puke on me? I nervous, I stayed still and silent. 

He sighed and shifted slightly. 

"Jesus, this keeps happening doesn't it? So I guess this is our thing now, cuddling?" His ears were red and he looked away.

I shrugged, I wasn't sure what I should say. At least this time Jack wasn't upset and freaking out. He slowly and cautiously started to pull away me, I tightened my arms slightly, he laid back down We just laid there for a while, I am not sure how long, but it was not without some awkwardness. He was so warm on my chest, I wanted this to last forever. It was different when both of us were awake and aware. It was scarier, but it was also real. Acknowledgement that this wasn't exhaustion or a drunken mistake, this was real. After a while he sat up, grabbing his head, reaching for the water on the nightstand.

"Feeling pretty bad, huh?" I smiled sympathetically.

"Like Hell. I have never been that...oh my God... I have black spots in my memory. Mark." He was scared. "Honestly. I can't remember things" Panic crossed his face, then shame then sadness. 

I had to defuse the tension.

"Hey, it's okay. What do you always say? Yolo bitches?"

He chuckled. "Still."

He laid back down beside me, hand on his head. "Things got ballsed up."

"We need to talk... Listen, I need a shower, I'm gonna go do that, and then we can talk. Okay...?" I wasn't trying to bail on him, but I needed to gather my thoughts.

"Okay." He closed his eyes.

I got up and grabbed my tablet from my room and loaded Twitter. Before we talked, I needed to know how bad things were. My picture had been retweeted, and for the most part people liked it and thought it was funny. Others were relieved just to see he was "okay" after his post from earlier in the day. I was not certain that the nice comments would last, however. There were a lot of drunk people in that bar. Dear God, please don't let there be video. I may have helped him somewhat with my Tweet, but this may get to point of implementing me and damaging my channel as well. I hadn't thought of that either.

I started the shower. He was so close that whole time and I had no idea. I was kind of mad at him, I felt hurt too. How could he think that I would be that cruel? "I feel like he does not ..." a somber truth dawned on me, Jack and I really didn't know each other that well. We hadn't spent a lot of time outside of conventions or colabs together, so a real, deep "relationship" issue was foreign.

Sooner or later he would be back in Ireland I feared when that happened he would take a part of me, too. I had been in the shower a long time, I realized . I didn't want to add any awkwardness to an already beyond awkward circumstance . I finished and went back to Jack. Part of me was afraid he had vanished again. I held my breath as I entered the room.

 

Jack was sitting on the bed , his face red, tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He was lost in his own head. I just wanted to hold him.

I frowned. "What's the matter?"

He had my phone and his, in each of his hands, bewildered. 

"Ah... making some calls?" I asked nervously 

He looked up at me "There are no words to tell you how I feel. Well there are some. Shame, embarrassment, sadness disappointment, I can't explain my actions." He ran his hand through his hair. "I fucked up. With you...my subs... There are things I can't even remember that I'm sure going to surface on the Internet. Thank you for covering for me. That tweet may have saved my arse."

I looked at him, he was so shameful and his emotions were raw. He was exposed, right there in front of me. He was very vulnerable. I had to choose my words and actions wisely.

He continued. " I... I listened to all the voicemails... I am ashamed that I ignored you so long, but even more ashamed of my voicemail to you. I didn't remember what I had said. What you must think of me..." 

I sighed, walked over to the bed and sat down next to him.

"Mark...If you just want me to leave-"

I cut him off, and looked at him.

"Stop it with the leaving shit, will you?!" I snapped at him. He looked down at his hands.

I took a deep breath. "What I think of you? Well. I think you are kind, honest, open." I snickered "When you aren't running away scared like a bitch, I mean." I grinned. I put my hand on his shoulder "You are funny, talented and make me laugh. You also make me question everything about myself. Am I confused, yeah, I think we both are. Do I want you to leave? Not at all. I wouldn't have spent hours searching for you, without even knowing where I was going, if that was the case." 

I sighed. "Listen, I know this visit isn't going as either of us planned. I don't know what any of this means, but I know that right here, right now, this is where I want to be. I know that things last night got pretty bad, I wasn't drunk, I remember. The calls, You were being a dick and wouldn't leave. I got mad at you, and growled at you and we left. I got you in the car, out of the car and was up all night as you were sick. I wiped your mouth and your face. I carried you to bed. I held you while you slept all day. So of course I wouldn't want you to leave. I want this to be okay. I know we hardly know each other, but it doesn't feel like that to me. I feel like I have known you my whole life. In this moment, right now all I want to do is...." 

I swallowed hard, put my hand to his face and looked into his eyes deeply before closing mine. Then I kissed him, the whole world melted away into nothingness. It was just him and I, nothing else existed. Sparks flew, I started to spiral down, down down. I was shocked back to reality when his hand came up to my face. He was kissing me back, hard. Kissing with passion, pent up desire and intensity. My heart sung and my head spun. I love him. If this wasnt love I will never know what is.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He was red again. I ran the back of my hand on his cheek.

"Always blushing. I think I have seen you red more often than not.."

He looked down, I gently tugged his chin upwards and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I can't predict the future, Jack, but I do know that my life is never going to be the same."

He pushed his face into my hand and closed his eyes. I smiled.

"I know last night's endeavor may cause some problems with Youtube, our lives, our fans, but I will never let you feel alone again. You will not have to go through that loneliness you felt all those years in that log cabin, Jack. I swear to you, I will never let that happen again." 

I leaned in close, kisses his earlobe and whispered "And Jack?"

"Yes?" he whispered, trembling.

"Septiplier away." He gasped. 

I got up and went to my room and shut the door. My head spun. Things just got real. Undeniably real.


	6. Because I love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Mark start to express their true feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where to story starts to slowly make it's way to smut town. ;)

I had been sitting on my bed for about an hour, scolding myself. Why did I run away? I guess I didn't want to overwhelm or scare him.My erection was still painfully pushing on my pants. That was another issue, I did not want to take it to far, I didn't want him to run again. It was after 9 and my stomach growled. I realized with everything going on, I hadn't eaten for a very long time. I did a few jumping jacks and jogged in place to settle myself and went out.

I started to boil pasta, Ziti sounded good. I prepared everything and got it in the oven to bake. I sat at the table and opened a beer. Jack peeked his head around the corner.

"Mind if I set with you?" He asked, shyly.

"Have a seat."

He was still nursing a bottle of water, still very hung over. He had showered, his hair was still wet and he had a pair of Pj pants and a hoodie on. He smelled really good, which made me shift uncomfortably. 

"You sure smell better once you got that alcohol rinsed out of your pores"

"Fookin hell, man. I don't even know what all I drank." he stopped and held his stomach a moment. "I don't want to think about it," he chuckled. 

"I bet you'd feel better after some food."

"I don't know, but I haven't eaten since our lunch after the interviews..."

"Shit, you're right, me either." 

"Mark..."

"Yeah?"

"Ah... so did I suck...What, I mean... did I balls it up..did I do something... wrong? I mean yeah yesterday's fiasco, but tonight, I mean in the room there?" He was waiting to be rejected, he was so uncomfortable. I could see the pain and panic on his face, his eyes were wide and held fear and confusion. He blushed crimson and stared at his hands.

I shook my head "On the contrary, Jack. I had to just take a step back before things went too far..." I sighed and frowned. "Why do you always do that?"

"W-what?" he stammered, slightly lifting his head

"Stare down at your hands or feet. It's Like you feel, I don't know, not worthy? I know you are embarrassed, you always seem to be, but you don't need to look down."

"Ah..." he looked at me sheepishly.

The timer on the stove went off, I went to attend to the food. I set the food on the table in front of him, he smiled as I dished him up a plate, which he ate with vigor. I did too, holy shit was I hungry. 

After we had put the food away, we were sitting in the living room, quite. He was on the couch and I was in the recliner. He looked tired again. I broke the silence.

"Not to be all "Daddyplier" again, but you really should go on Twitter and make sure people know you are okay. Your subs, Felix, Wade, Bob and even Ken all posted some nice words but they are worried."

He sighed sadly. "Yeah, I know. I have been stalling, honestly. I don't know what to say to anyone..."

He grabbed his tablet, and signed in. He sighed sadly and I watched him intently scroll, frowning off and on. I saw a single tear slip out of his eye. He tried to dash it away before I had saw it, but it was too late. I went over to him and sat next to him.

"Hey" I said softly, rubbing his back. 

"Just all these people so worried about me... touching yah know? I was such an arse, and people stopped their day just to write me messages. That is heartwarming. Felix is really was worried, he sent me 5 DM's. I should call him properly, this may take me awhile." I nodded and could tell he wanted privacy so I went down to record a vlog.

"Hey everybody. What a wild few days. The bar was a bad idea...I just got Jack to eat something, Irish! Ha Irish and hung over like a big baby." I chuckled "I'm sorry we worried everyone, but we are adults and sometimes us adults do some adulty things." I winked at the camera. "Also I am sorry I had no videos today, other than this one, I guess. I will make sure to upload two videos tomorrow. Jack's only here a short time so I'm trying to be a good host."

I went on to speak about upcoming events and game, then uploaded the vlog. I also uploaded and scheduled two videos for tomorrow, one that I recorded right before Jack got here and the other of Jack and I playing together.

I went back upstairs to hear the tail end of Jack's conversation with Felix.

"Yeah I know. Really I'm okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. Just was feeling insecure after somethings happened... No I'm still at Mark's... Yeah. Fookin hell, man I was loaded. Projectile vomiting loaded. Mark had to carry me to bed. Ha ha, no. Fook you."

He laughed, his real laugh. "Okay Felix, again I am so sorry. You too, brah." He laughed. "Bye."

I poked my head in the living room, it was a little after 11. "Woke him up early did you?" 

"He was awake, I sent him a DM to let him know I would call him later, but he asked me too now. "

"You okay?"

"I don't know... I am, honestly not sure who that guy was that left yesterday like a shite. I also do know who that lad was that stepped into that pub and didn't leave, which risked my whole life, basically."

I smirked I wanted to lighten the mood. "I do, Jack Sepsis eye balls." He looked at me confused and somewhat angry. He was still being serious, but I couldn't resist. I would have to tell him that story another time 

I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck. Wrong. Bad. Timing. "Nev-never mind. I'm sorry, Jack. Go on, please." I really wanted to hear what he had to say. 

He hung his head, his voice was soft and filled with sadness and regret. " I have no idea who that guy hung out with, or what evidence of such events are about. Or who has my number. Or..Or someone who would leave that awful message. ..for you. Of all people." His face became red, this time it wasn't embarrassment, it was anger.

Painful memories shot back into my mind, I swallowed hard and nodded.

"I feel like an idiot, Mark. I was so stupid... so embarrassed, I still am. I don't recall all of it, but I am sorry I was an arse to you." He looked up "Honestly, I feel like the loner kid on the playground who is just getting to hang with the cool kids while the teacher watches," He stood up and stretched, his shirt lifted and a saw a small patch of his beautiful porcelain skin. He continued "but soon the bell will ring and we will be back in class where I am nobody again." He inhaled "I am going to be kicked out of the Youtube club. It is one of my biggest fears..."

What the hell was he talking about? "Jack... stop thinking the worst of yourself. If you haven't noticed, you are the cool kid. Just check your sub count, and how many friends you have made." 

"I don't think that at all." he looked down at his feet. Damn it I wished he would stop that.

I went over to him and grabbed his face and kissed him on the lip softly. "I know, and that's one of the reasons you are wonderful." I looked deeply into his beautiful blue eyes. "You are amazing," I kissed my way down his throat. "And kind." I kissed around to the side of his neck. "And funny." I kissed up to his earlobe and whispered. "And incredibly sexy." 

He drew in a quick breath and shifted his weight. I kissed my way back down his neck. "You smell amazing." He groaned. I slowly pushed him back him and eventually softly pushed him down on the couch. I keep kissing and gently nipping his neck., slowly. He seemed uncomfortable, tense. I kissed back up to his ear. "Do you want me to stop, Jack? It's okay if you do, I will. You don't have to worry about me being upset, I won't be I promise." I pulled away, and put my hand on the side of his face, looking him in the eyes. I tired to read his thoughts.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out. He looked right at me, his eyes seemed as if there were on fire, the electricity from the night previous in the car was buzzing. His voice was low and husky. "Yes" He said with his mouth, though his eyes told a different story. "because... I want too-" He kissed me deeply and pushed me back into the couch, then crawled on top me of. He straddled me with his knees on either side of me. He started to kiss down my throat and neck, sucking and nibbling as he went. I felt myself get hard, so did he. He jumped slightly when he felt it, then he kissed me deeper and started to grind into me. I could feel his erection on my own and I couldn't help but moan. The room was spinning and we were all over each other. He had his hands on my face and mine were around him on his back. I moaned loudly. I was complimented by a low growl from Jack, he was filled with lust and it was almost animalistic. Full of need and desire he became more aggressive, I was starting to lose my will power. I wanted him so bad, I was so excited. I wanted us to be as close as we could, I loved him. That thought shocked me out of it, and helped me gather my wits about me. 

I pulled away slightly. "Jack-" He didn't hear me, or ignored me. He kissed me again with force, his fingers intertwined in my hair, pulling it. He was moaning into my mouth, kissing me and moving, he was losing himself in me. I wanted to make sure that he knew what he was doing, because this was getting very intense. He moved to my neck again, Damn it, I wanted this to continue. My voice cracked. "Hey, Jack..." He didn't respond, he was already lost.

I raised my voice "Hey. Jack stop, no. Please..." he froze, pulled back and paled in the face. There was fear in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry Mark. I just, I got carried away. I-I didn't. Are you okay? I didn't mean to make you feel uncomf-" He started to get up, I put pulled him back down on me and put my finger to his lips.

"Hey, relax. You didn't do anything wrong. I was enjoying it, trust me." I kissed the tip of his nose. "It was just getting pretty intense and I didn't know how much longer I could control myself. Or how far you wanted to go. I don't want to move to fast."

"Oh." He dropped his hands to the side and rested his face on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him. I held and cradled him. "Let's not rush this,it is very new to us both. I want there to be no regrets, okay?"

He sighed but said. "You're right." He groaned and then yawned. 

"Bed time?"

"I guess. This is awkward way to go to bed... like..." He motioned to us. 

I lifted him off my chest and kissed him deeply. We then hugged and held each other.

"Jack, I have very strong feelings for you, they scare me. I don't want to do anything to destroy that. So I think it should be bed time. Besides, with everything that happened the last few days I think we need extra rest. Also... Happy Birthday." It was quarter after midnight.

He smiled. "oh yeah, that is now." He shook his head smiling. "thanks." He got up, stretched again and yawned. I could see he still had a partial erection. 

"You're very welcome, Mr. Septiceye. Good night. I will see you in the morning and we will figure out what to do to celebrate, okay?" 

He nodded and went to the guest room. Holy hell it was hard to stop him. I wanted him, I wanted him bad. I hoped he was ready, tomorrow night, because I was fairly certain I knew what I was giving him for his Birthday.


	7. Birthdays and love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's Birthday, Mark's Confession

The sound of breaking glass seemingly tore me from sleep. I bolted up, what the hell was that? I got up, though it was hard to do. I felt like I was in slow motion, I figured it was from fear and being woken up the way I had. I went to the living room, the large picture window was broken out. Was there someone in my house? 

Oh god, Jack! I tripped and stumbled my way towards his room, trying not to draw any attention to myself. When I got there, I could hear struggling, grunting and heavy breathing. I pushed open the door, the copper scent of blood entered my nostrils. No. Oh god no. Jack was struggling with a large man, he had a gun. Whose blood was it?? I saw Jack's shirt, a large and rapid spreading wet stain near his stomach. It was Jack's blood I smelled, and now could plainly see. "Jack!" I yelled. The armed man turned to look at me and Jack hit him on the side of the head, but it wasn't hard enough. The man looked at me, he seemed familiar, I struggled to see his face. "This is your fault, you know that , right?" He hit Jack on the top of the head with the gun, Jack went limp. "You killed Jack Septiceye." 

There was something else I heard, I couldn't place it, the man pushed Jack's unconscious body towards me.

"No. Stop. Don't hurt him anymore."

I heard a new voice off in the distance. "Mark!"

This man was going to kill him. "Please, what do you want?"

"Hey. Mark.. wake-"

"It's too late. You should have been more careful" He smiled at me wickedly, brought up his arm and aimed the gun at Jack's face. Holy Shit, Jack is going to die in front of my eyes. 

The voice was louder. "Mark! Wake. Up!!"

"No fucking stop! DON'T" I yelled. I heard a click and-

"For fook sake Mark, wake the Hell up." I felt someone shaking me and punch me in the arm. "Mark...Christ man...come on! Wake up will yah?!" The voice was irritated and very Irish. I blinked my eyes open, I was confused. Where the Fuck was I? My Bed? I sat up grabbing my glasses. Jack was staring at me, he was pale and worried. He started to rub my back. My heart was racing and sweat was dripping off of my head. I took a deep breath in, I was still somewhat in a dream state. Oh my God...The blood! He was shot... I grabbed at his shirt, pulled it up to his chest. I touched his stomach, he jumped. 

"Whoa, hold on there cowboy. Haven't had me coffee yet." He smirked at me. Smartass.

"Ah, sorry." I let go of his shirt and I blushed.

"Mark I plier, are you blushing? That's my gig." He smiled at me.

A nightmare. That's what it was. I sighed and realized there was daylight streaming Into my room. I brushed my fingertips across his face. 

"Hey, I am Sorry I woke you... I didn't mean too"

"Some Nightmare, huh?" He was leaving it open so I could elaborate, if I wanted to. I didn't, at least not now. I was still sweating. 

"Ah yeah." He was safe, he was here. "What time is it?"

"Half past 10." I frowned. "It's okay, really, I was still sleeping too. Last few days have been..." He trailed off. 

"Some start to your birthday, huh?"

He blushed recalling the night before. "Actually, it was the best start to a birthday I have had." He kissed me softly. "We could do nothing, still would be better than anything I'd have back home."

I smiled at him, trying to stop my racing heart. 

"I have some stoff to do, are you okay?" He rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm good. Go. I'll come find you when I'm ready. Go down to the den, use what you'd like."

His face lit up. "Really?"

"Really. Of course if you break it you buy it." I winked.

He rolled his eyes. "See you later."

When I was alone, I fell back into my pillow. I cannot believe that was a dream, I shook my head and called Bob, Ross, and Wade to arrange them to meet us for dinner to celebrate his birthday. They all agreed. I wondered how this would play out, what would happen after words? 

I heard the shower run, the image of Jack in the shower made me inhale sharply. I got up and showered myself and went to the kitchen.

Jack must have been down stairs at this point so I started to make lunch, we missed breakfast. I prepared BBQ chicken wraps and a salad. It had been about an hour, I slowly walked down the stairs, in case he was recording.

He was just sitting there, grinning from ear to ear. He looked so happy. I smiled. Even after his YouTube channel gained so much popularity, here he was still in awe of my recording studio. Most wouldn't care anymore. I just watched him, he spun in my chair, did my intro and clapped his hands together. He would pause for a moment, look down at his tablet, type and then look back to my computer. He was adorable. He was fanboying, even after everything we had been through. 

I snuck back upstairs and turned the doorknob loudly so he knew I was there. I looked at him, he blushed.

"Oh...Looking at Porn?" I joked.

"Fook yourself." He rolled his eyes.

"Well if you are done jerking- well you call it fapping, Lunch is ready."

He sighed. "Okay, thanks." We headed back upstairs. We were just sitting down to eat when I noticed Jack staring at me, a look of concern on his face.

"What?"

He blushed, "I don't mean to pry... your nightmare...you screamed my name."

I sighed. "Yeah, well someone was killing you." I ended up telling him the whole dream. He listened intently.

"Wow, yeah. I had a Bitch of a time waking you up."

I changed the subject. "We have plans tonight, we leave at 6. What do you want to do for the afternoon?"

"Play games?"

"Your Birthday, Jackaboy." He smiled. 

"I love." He stopped and quickly said. "My birthday."

He almost said that he loved me... 

We played all afternoon and got ready to go to dinner. We met up with everyone, ate and ended up at a bar. It was a different bar, I would never go back to the one I had to rescue Jack from, ever again. 

 

Jack and Wade were playing darts on the other side of the room and the rest of the group was setting near them. I sat at the bar, nursing my beer, just watching them. He looked so happy. Bob came over to me.

"So he's okay then?"

I motioned my hand towards him. "Appears so."

"Are you?" Bob looked concerned. I trusted Bob, a lot. I wanted to tell him, someone to talk to, and yet I didn't want to hear any of this out loud.

"Sure, I mean, yeah. The last few days have been... eventful for him to say the least. Jack got so drunk I was afraid I was going have to take him to the emergency room, but he obviously is fine."

"I can see that. I asked if you were okay."

I sighed. "I am not sure what way is up, honestly. I need this to stay between, us okay?"

"Yeah, I get that. I can tell you aren't right."

I told him everything, explained the events that had led up until now. He just listened.

"When I had to pull him out of that fucking bar, I was so mad. I swore I wouldn't fight him, but I wanted to punch him in the face. He was being a dick bag. Then he was helpless, and laughed and all of it just melted away." I smiled recalling the memory. I continued. "and honestly Bob, I think I am falling in love with him. It's strange, I am not gay... but I have never felt anything close to what I feel for him. Closest I got was with a woman." I ran my hand through my hair. I just word vomited everything.

"I wondered if you would finally see what everyone else does." He smiled. "Listen, No judgement here, you know that. I don't think what gender Jack is matters, I think you are seeing his soul. Look at me all philosophical and shit." I rolled my eyes at him, he laughed. "I love you like a brother, so If you're happy, good. Besides I like Jack. He never takes himself too seriously, he is kind, giving and funny." He winked at me. "And don't worry, I ain't trying to seal your man." He was giving me shit, because that's what Bob does. 

"Shut up Bob." I laughed. "I don't know what I am going to do when he goes back home. It may kill me. I am fucked, utterly fucked." Bob was about to say something when Jack and Wade started heading towards us.

"You two making out over here?" Wade put his hands on his hips.

"You guys have been over here awhile," Jack said quietly, so much so that everyone noticed and stared at him. He cleared his throat. His voice started to slur slightly. "Yah okay?"

Bob clapped him on the shoulder. "Oh don't worry your pretty little head. We were just talking about how awful you are. Damn Jack. Just awful. " Jack and Wade laughed, Bob smiled and I sighed. 

Everyone took turns playing Pool, throwing darts and just hanging out. I carefully watched Jack's alcohol intake. "Daddyplier" I thought. A few more hours had passed and it was getting late. Bob headed out a while ago and Wade and I were finishing a game of pool. Jack was playing Dice with Ross at the bar. When Wade and I had finished we went to the bar and agreed it was time to call it a night, everyone said their goodbyes and I drove home. 

The ride was quiet. I was locked inside my head thinking about everything that had happened and what Bob had said. Maybe he was right, I did love Jack's soul. Jack spoke.

"Mark?"

"Yeah, Jack."

"Are you okay? You're quiet and haven't said two words to me this whole way home."

"Yeah, I'm fine, Jack." I lied.

We went into the house, on the table was a bottle of champagne, two LED candles and two glasses. There was also a tray of snacks. What the hell?

There was a note. "Hope you had a good Birthday, Jack. Here is the After bar. -Bob" I forgot he had my spare key. 

"So, ah, Bob broke into your house to set up an after bar?" Jack laughed nervously. 

"I guess so, he's strange." I laughed too. Bob set us up a date...

"Seems like a date." Jack said, looking at he feet.

"Indeed it does." I said, irritated. "Excuse me a moment?"

Jack nodded.

I went into the bathroom and texted Bob.

"What the hell, man?"

"You're welcome." was his reply.

"Don't you think this was, I don't know, pushing it?" 

"No. I think it was exactly what you needed." There was a winky face.

"Still, this is awkward as hell, Bob."

"Uh oh, wait until you see your bedroom."

I didn't text him back after that. What had he done... I went back to Jack. 

He was on his phone, smiling. I am sure he was answering tweets and comments. 

"Hey, sorry about that."

There was so much tension in the room. I popped the cork and handed Jack a glass, we chit chatted, listed to music and ate. 

"So are you ever going to tell me what's wrong? You have been acting strange since Wade and I interrupted you and Bob at the bar, Mark."

I looked at him and smiled. I wasn't going to tell him. No tonight.

"I told you, I am fine." I stood up walked towards him, my head slightly dizzy from alcohol. 

"Yes, you are." He said, there was no blush. Liquid courage. 

"Oh is that so?" I pulled him to his feet, I could feel his pulse racing. I gazed into his eyes, getting lost in the deep ocean that was his hue. 

Tonight I saw no apprehension, no fear. Just desire. Tonight was the night. I kissed him lovingly, caressing his face. He was so hot. It just was. I was not sober enough to question it.

"I am going to give you a present, Jack. It is only yours if you want it."

"Yes." He breathed not missing a beat. I pulled him close, into a hug and held him, slowly rubbing his back. He sighed. Yes, I was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me feedback. The next chapter will be smutty for certain. Thank you all who have read this, I really have enjoyed and am enjoying writing this.


	8. Souls collide.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Bob do to the bedroom? What happens in the bedroom stays- oh you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****ADULT LEVEL SMUT AHEAD**** This is for mature audiences only.  
> I have not ever written smut before, so I am sorry if this is awful. I also get pretty descriptive, it is how I write.  
> I tried not to drag it out too much though.  
> Comments encouraged.
> 
> Enjoy. :)

My heart hammered in my ears. I took Jack's hand and led him to my bedroom, about halfway down the hall the rose petals started to make a path to my bed. Oh no. Jack snickered.  
I was embarrassed. "Uh, Bob I guess..." When we got to my bed there must have been about a three dozen's worth of the petals on my actual bed.  
"Jesus," Jack mused. "He murdered a shite ton of roses." I laughed in spite of the rising blush coming to my cheeks. That over the top bastard. I looked at the night stand, there was a roll of duct tape, a box of condoms and the largest bottle of lube I had ever seen in my life.  
"Oh for fuck sake, Bob." I said out loud without meaning to. Jack's eyes traveled to where mine were. I was worried about his reaction, but he started to laugh, loudly. I joined him, at least it was releasing some nervous energy.  
"I assume you told him about us yeh?" He asked after he composed himself.  
"Um... yeah. It wasn't planned, he just knows me. I kind of word vomited before I knew what I was doing. I'm sorry"  
Jack shook his head, but wasn't upset. Well this was off to an awesome start. Damn it. This is not how I wanted this to go. I walked to my dresser and picked up a the small box that contained his gift.  
"Since the mood is absolutely dead, I guess I will give you this now." I was frustrated, this all looked like one huge joke now. I wanted me to be his main present, but that ship seemingly had sailed. Damn it, Bob.  
"Hey...." Jack came over to me and put his hand on my back.I tensed. "Relax, it's okay." I handed him the small box with a half smile. He took it and he opened it up.  
A wide grin spread across his beautiful face, his eyes sparkled. It was a dog tag on a chain with the words "THE BOSS." and a small Septiceye Sam.  
"Mark... I love it." He set it down on the nightstand and kissed me.  
"Good." I smiled. Things were really awkward, and I was excited and frustrated. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't want it to be forced, I wanted it to be romantic, meaningful. I was nervous and unsure of myself, I didn't want anything to destroy what we had, whatever it was. I sighed running my hand through my hair. Jack seemed to pick up my train of thought. He walked over to me and put his hand on my face. It was so soft.  
"You are so sexy." He kissed my forehead "Kind, protective, loving." He pulled me closer to him "And gave me an amazing Birthday and gift." He kissed me softly on my lips. "Thank you." he whispered against my now trembling lips. I nodded, wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. I kissed him, the kiss was full of passion, lust, and yearning. It was as if nothing else mattered, just him and his body. Jack returned my kiss, tangling his free hand in my hair, moaning into my mouth. I ran my hands down his back, I was clumsy, but when I reached his ass, he growled in his throat. He was starting to get lost in me. My cock strained against my pants, my god, was this hot.  
Jack shifted and I felt his hard cock against mine.

"Fook." He moaned when we made contact. I broke away from him, lifted his shirt over his head and pushed him on the bed, on top of all the damned rose petals. Fucking Bob. I started kissing his ear lobe on one side, and trailed kisses all the way down his collarbone and back up to the other ear lobe. He was panting with his hand still tangled in my hair. I kissed down to one nipple, then the other, taking them in my mouth, twirling my tongue around it. Jack shifted slightly, moaning.  
"Hmm, you like that, Jackaboy?"  
"Yessss" he hissed through his teeth. I nipped at them gently, causing his hips to thrust. I chuckled, he was putty in my hands.  
"Wats so funny?" He demanded  
"Nothing, I am just pleased that you are pleased." He was about to say something else, but I shut him up by mashing my lips into his. He pulled me on top of him, removing my shirt. I could feel his hands travel up and down my back, I moaned. I started to gently suckle on his neck, when I did he raked his nails down my back, I arched into it.  
"Oh God," I moaned. Skin on skin, his flesh was so hot. I was on fire.  
He ran his hand down my back and grabbed my ass. We were grasping each other, wild, frantic and moaning in our heavy make out session. I had never felt such strong desire in my life, It scared me. I hesitated slightly, Jack pulled away.  
"Mark, whats wrong?" I smiled down at him, trying to reassure him.  
"I am fine, Jack." He struggle and propped himself up on his elbows, looking at me.  
"Tell me." He had concern written all over his face.  
"I just... I have never felt like this. Such strong desire, and well... you know, with a Man." I blushed and looked away  
He sighed "I know. Me too. Yet, here we are. All I know is that I don't want it to stop, do you?" I don't know that we could have stopped, even if I wanted to.  
I reached down between our bodies and firmly grasped his cock through his pants. "No." I said.  
"Holy Hell." he moaned as I rubbed him through his pants. I rolled off of him, undoing his button. The loud unzipping of his jeans made a satisfying noise and I pulled it down.  
"I want to make sure you are okay with this, Jack. All you have to say is stop, okay?" I touched him through his boxers, I could feel his heat and hardness. I groaned.  
"Y-yeh.." He stammered, only able to really focus on my hand on him. Suddenly he was grasping at my crotch and gasped when he felt my hardness through my jeans. "Oh my God, Mark..." He trailed off. 

I slipped my hand under his back and removed his pants, he pulled at my button and helped him take mine off as well. I was about to roll back on top of him when he pushed his hand into my chest. His touch made me shiver. He pushed me down on the bed, straddling me. When our hardness met, he sucked in his breath sharply. He started to kiss my neck, down around my collarbone and up to my earlobes. I was on fire, all of my nerve endings where screaming. "Jack," I moaned "You are-" I was cut off mid sentence as he rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I whimpered  
"Found something you like, Marky?" I felt him smirk against my neck.  
"Mm" was all I could say. With the kissing, the nipple play and the constant rotation of his hips grinding his cock into me, I was going to cum faster than I wanted to. I sat up, snaked my hand around his waist and flipped him on his back so I was on top of him again. He sighed, contented.  
I looked down at him, he smiled. His blue eye shone up at me at it was as if I could see his soul. It almost hurt. Tears sprung to my eyes as I took a shaky inhale. "Hey..." He said, placing his hand on my cheek  
I ignored him, bent my head and kissed him again, however it was different this time. It wasn't just lust. I started to grab his hair roughly, I need him. I needed him bad. A groan that I hadn't realized came from me broke the silence once more.  
"Ja-Jack.." I stuttered "I- I need you." My voice almost sounded pained. He growled in his throat, I again heard the animalistic tone in it. He wanted me as bad as I did him. He flexed his hips.  
"Take me, I'm yours." he whispered. I got up and removed my boxers. Jack gazed at my cock, blushing when I caught him looking. I smiled and pulled his off, He had nothing to be embarrassed about. "Beautiful" I murmured. I got the lube from the nightstand and prepared us both. I made sure to prepare him with my fingers first. He whimpered and moaned as I stretched him out. I was so hot, so hard and strong emotion tugged at my heart. I couldn't wait any more.  
My voice was low and husky. "Are you ready?" There was slight fear in his eyes but he nodded. He was on his back, I grabbed his legs and pulled him towards me. He was already panting. I stroked his cock a few times, he thrusted himself into my hand. I lined myself up with his entrance, slowly sinking myself into him. This was incredible. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced  
"Oh my god," He said under his breath. His legs shook slightly.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Y-Yeh, just takes some getting used ta." He closed his eyes. I placed both of my hands on the bed next to him so I could steady myself. I slowly pushed in further and further, grunting and breathing heavier. I was moving slowly so he could get used me, It had seemed as if I had bottomed out when I felt my cock brush something and Jack's eyes shot open. Shit, what happened? 

I leaned down to make eye contact "Did I hur-" He lean up connected with my lips. He kissed me hard, thrusting his his up pounding himself against my cock. He broke the kiss "Oh my God. There. It feels so-" He was babbling, I guess I was doing something right. I stroked the side of his face, I was overcome by sensations and emotions. Jack had leaned back and propped himself back up on his elbows and was watching me go in and out of him. My God, this was hot. He lifted up and pushed on my chest again, I slipped my arm around his back and rolled him back on top of me, holding his chest so he didn't impale himself on me. Slowly he started to sink down onto me. "Holy shit, Jack." I muttered  
"Oh my God Mark, I had no idea-" His eye were wide and filled with desire. He leaned down, laid on my chest and I wrapped my arms around him. We moved together, in unison, as if we were one. I placed kisses on the top of his head as he bounced on me. We were as close as we could be, I was moaning and my heart swelled. I felt moisture and blinking eyelashes on my chest.  
He was crying. I stilled, as did he. I grabbed his arms and pushed him up so I was facing him. Tears were streaming down his face, I frowned. We should stop...  
"Are you hurting?" Worry filled my voice. He shook his head and kissed me, deeply with passion, clinging onto me tightly. He pulled away, anxiety washed over his face, his eyes shone with fear now. "What's the matter, Jackaboy." I soothed, running my hand through his hair.  
"I-" He closed his eyes and sighed deeply." Oh Mark. I love you. I love you so much." He looked at me, anticipating what I was about to say, tears still dripping down his face.  
I reached up and wiped them away, slowly brought my mouth to his ear. My voice was low and rumbled softly. "Hmm, I can't even explain how much I love you, Jack Septiceye." He shuddered and started to move again. I brought my hand to his cock, jerking him off as he bounced. There was much more passion in this now. He was expressing his love, as was I. We were melded, one and soaring high. Oh I loved him, he was amazing. I wasn't able to hold back anymore.  
"Jack-" I was getting so close, my head was spinning. "Jack, I am going to cum." I warned him, and started to thrust harder.  
"Oh my God, Mark, Yes... like that." He was whimpering and whining. I growled, low in my throat and started to cum, he screamed my name as he released himself all over both of us. The room was spinning, my heart raced and I felt on top of the world. My God- I thought this was just really good sex, but that, that wasn't just sex. We had made love. Jack collapsed on my chest, I could feel his heart thudding on my skin.  
We laid there for awhile, he eventually rolled off of me and winced as we separated. I got up and got a wash cloth, gently cleaning him off.  
He was shy and bright red.  
"Happy Birthday, Jack." I smiled He giggled. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" He nodded  
"Go get ready and come back, I'll be here." I watched his naked butt as he went to the guest room.  
The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. We had had sex- no, we made love. We had confessed our love for each other... was this going to ruin everything? I sighed " Little late now, Mark." I thought as I pulled on my pjs. Jack came back, yawning sleepily, running his hand through his hair. He got into my bed, and I soon followed. I pulled him close to me. I was going to be able to hold him all night. This gave me great peace. I nuzzled his neck and softly kissed his temple.  
"I love you, Jack."  
"I love you too, even if you are a doof." I chuckled and we both started to fall into a deep sleep, never moving, just cuddling into one another. For a fleeting moment before I drifted off, I panicked. What was going to happen when real life had to start again?


	9. Giving you an out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Mark are figuring this thing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again there is Adult level smut in this. So proceed with caution. I really am enjoying writing this and I hope you are enjoying reading it. Please leave your thoughts in the comments. :)

I woke up suddenly noticing Jack wasn't there. Oh God, not again. I panicked, grabbed my glasses, and started down the hall. I was hit with the smell of food cooking and stopped. He didn't run, he was cooking us breakfast. I shook my head and went back to my room. I looked at all of the rose petals everywhere, what a mess. I grabbed the bedding and shook them out. Rose petals were in a pile on the floor, it was a mess and irritating, but I smiled looking at them. Last night was amazing, i had never been so happy in my life. I really hoped that Jack felt the same. I continued to clean up the mess, I put the lube and condoms in the dresser drawer and grabbed the duct tape and put it in the hall closet. I yawned as I walked into the kitchen, the smell of coffee, then bacon filled my nostrils. Jack was standing at the stove, making eggs. He was shirtless and had my nail marks on his back, in between rose petals that had stuck to him. Despite myself slightly hardening, I snickered.  
"Hi." He said shyly as he turned from the stove. "I figured you were so nice to me yesterday, I should do something for you."  
I grinned. "Oh believe me, you already did." I winked at him, he blushed scarlet and turned back to the eggs. I went up behind him and placed a soft kiss on his shoulders, tracing my claw marks on his back with my finger. "I seemed to have gotten carried away." I could heard Jack swallowing and learned into my touch.  
I pulled away and pulled off three rose petals and reach my hand out. "Also, these little bastards are everywhere." I was honestly very annoyed.  
"And people say romance is dead." Jack said, him and his smart mouth.  
"Ha Ha HA." I said and I threw them in the trash, then poured myself coffee.

Breakfast was quite, we both stole glances at each other over the table, but did not speak. We were both shy after what had happened the night before, but the smirks that continued to appear on our faces told a story. We finished eating and started to clear the table, at the sink Jack bumped into me, our hands brushed. Sparks flew in the air, we both gasped. I hooked my pinky with his, leaning closer. He turned to me and looked me in the eyes, he looked perplexed. My heart sank.  
"What?" I said quietly, looking down. Here it comes, the regret, the "it was the alcohol" or the "I think we should be friends." routine. I waited as he gathered his thoughts.  
"Mark- last night was-" He blushed recalling the prior night and continued. "Was amazing." He sighed and started to speak quickly, he was nervous. "That doesn't mean I expect more.... or anything. I am just thankful for last night. I don't want you to feel obligated, to you know-" He took a deep breath in. "I will be happy just being friends with you. You are amazing." His eyes became sad when he gave me the out of friendship. This was just like him, trying to make everyone else happy, forgetting of himself.  
"You are an asshole, you know that?" I said. Damn it, Jack. Stop it.  
"Wha-"  
"No I let you finish, now you let me!" I had not meant to shout but I did. Jack's eyes widened and he only nodded.  
I sighed, he now looked fearful, that caused my heart to ache. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." I said, regretfully. "I wish you knew how amazing you were, Jack. You never seem to fully grasp it. It hurts me. You are trying to give me an out-like you think last night was a drunken mistake, or worse just a sex fest." I dropped his hand and turned and paced. "Fuck that. I hope it wasn't for you, because for me... it was..." I stopped, damn it Mark, don't cry. The tears were brimming my eyelids. Oh God, I had to leave... I had to go. I don't want to him to feel guilt and just agree with me or force him into anything. My back was turned to him. "Hey, ah, I have to get some fresh air... I'll be back."  
I walked out my front door and started to walk down the street. I am glad it was warm, I was barefooted and still in my PJ's. What the hell? I just walked out. I was scared, scared of him rejecting me, rejecting us. It had been a long time since I had felt this insecure. I walked to a park about a block from my house and sat on the bench. I loved women before romantically, but Jack was a man. I was not gay, but maybe Bob had been right. Maybe It didn't matter what gender Jack was, It certainly didn't turn me off. I scoffed at myself. He cried when he said he loved me, that touched my soul. I loved him too, and the feelings were stronger than anything I had ever known. There was so much bullshit to work through, though. He lived in a totally different country, totally different time zone, Youtube, families. The amount that was stacked against us was daunting. I hadn't realized that I had been crying this whole time, but I was. I wiped my face,  
got up and slowly started to make my way back home. I opened the door, ashamed that I had walked out.  
Jack was on my couch, with his knees to his chest, head on his knees turned to the side. He raised his head as I walked over to him. He looked at my face, knew I had been crying and sadly smiled at me.  
"Mark, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I thought last night was a mistake. Not at all." He closed his eyes as I shoved my hands into my pockets. "I don't regret-" He stopped again. "I meant what I said last night, I love yeh. I am in love with you. It is confusing to me, I am not gay. I know you aren't either. 'Didn't want yeh to feel like you had to pretend or fake it. So if you didn't actually feel as I do..-" He sighed.  
I walked over to him and kneeled in front of him, looking him in the eyes.  
"Jack, " My voice squeaked "I am scared to death what will happened to me when you go home." The tears came back, this time I let them fall "That's how much my soul is connected to yours. You have made me feel more alive in the last few days ... than I have in a long time and maybe my whole life." I shook my head "Last night was so awaking, so new. I have never made love to anyone in my life. I've had sex, I had meaningful sex, but before last night, I had never made love to anyone... do you understand?" I sniffled, he looked up at me, tears streaming down his face.  
"Yes." He said. I sat next to him on the couch where this had all started, days prior. I pulled him into my chest and held him as he continued to cry. "Shh" I murmured. "I love you, Jack. I love you more than you will ever know." I rocked him gently and let him finish crying. I wanted to protect him, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted to love him. When the crying had stopped, he just sat tangled in each other's arms for awhile. The house was still and I could hear him softly breathing and his heart beat.  
"Are you okay?" He asked still cuddled into me. I could feel his voice rumbled in my chest, I smiled.  
"Don't worry about me, Jack. I am okay. "  
"Lair."  
I shrugged "Well right now I am happy because you are here. We are here. Let's focus on that, okay?"  
He nodded against my chest, slowly started to move his hands  
"So what should we do?" I asked, his hands were slowly rubbing my stomach  
"I don't know..." He started to rub lower getting to my navel, then cupping my crotch.  
"Ah..." He chuckled and slid his head to my crotch. He started to kiss my hardening cock through the PJ pants. I groaned. Jack hopped off the couch and kneeled in front of me, hooking his thumbs on either side of my Pjs, I lifted up as he removed them. My cock sprang free and he moaned.  
He grabbed me and started to stroke me slowly, I leaned my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes. This was amazing, He was amazing.  
Suddenly his tongue was on me, my eyes shot open and looked down at him. He looked up at me through his eye lashes.  
"Oh my God, Jack." I groaned. He suddenly took my who member in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around the head. "Holy shit, Jack." I couldn't stop from squirming or making noise. Had he done this before? I seemed like it. He was sucking me harder, bobbing up and down and cupping my balls. I was in heaven.  
He removed his mouth, but kept up the steady speed with his hand. "Does that feel good Mark?" He asked me, he was so sexy right now.  
"You sure know how to work that pretty mouth." I moaned as my hips jerked.  
He laughed, "Do I now? Will it make you cum, Mark?"  
"Oh my god." Just the words coming out of his mouth almost made me cum.  
"Do you want me to make you cum?"  
I moaned loudly in response  
"Is that a Yes, Markimoo?"  
"Y-y-yes" I stuttered, I was losing control.  
"Well get ready then, I am going to make you cum with my mouth." He smirked when I sharply inhaled.  
He sucked me harder than before, bobbing his head. One hand was stroking my cock with his mouth and the other was gently rubbing my balls. He wasn't afraid, shy or timid. I could tell he just wanted to make me cum. I was close.  
"Jack... Oh my- this feels amazing."  
"Mmm" He mumbled He then looked up at me again, sucking me off, stroking me and his eyes had a very naughty, very sexy look in them. I was no match for that. I wasn't going to last long.  
"oh my God, Jack... I'm-" I couldn't finish my sentence, I just grunted and moaned as I filled his mouth. He began to swallow, and this made me cum even harder. When I had finished Jack quickly removed his mouth from me, causing me to jerk. I was so sensitive. He squeezed my leg, stood up and smiled at me  
I could see the tent in his pants... " I hope that made you feel better." He said with that he turned around "I need a shower." He went to the guest bed and bathroom and I heard him brush his teeth. I laughed softly. Maybe he had done this before. 

The water started to run and I had an idea, I wanted to return the spontaneous sexual favor. I made sure he was distracted and snuck into the bathroom, undetected. I quietly stripped off the rest of my clothes and snuck in behind him. His cock was sticking straight out, as he was about done rinsing his hair. I wrapped my arms around his torso, he jumped but instantly relaxed.  
"Bastard." he muttered, I snickered. My lips were only inches away from his ear.  
"So, this incredibly sexy Irishman just gave me the best blow job of my life and swallowed..." I slid my hand down his stomach, gripping his cock. He moaned and leaned into me. "And then he suddenly left to brush his teeth and shower. Not asking for anything in return." I grabbed the body wash squirted some in my hand and continued stroking him, now the slippery soap helping the movement be quicker . He growled. "I didn't think that was fair, I mean after all, Men have needs, don't they?" I started to kiss the back of his neck, slowly nipping as I did, still stroking him. "Do you like my hands on you?" He only noded, I opened my hands, let the water wash away the soap and spun him to face me. I kissed him deeply, his breath was minty and fresh. I then kneeled and took him in my mouth. "Yes!" He moaned as I mimicked what he had done earlier. I was getting hard again, I couldn't help it, he was so hot.  
"So good." He grunted. He opened his eyes as I looked up at him, his mouth was wide open, he was panting. "You are so fucking sexy."  
I kept sucking and stroking him, suddenly he dropped his hand on top of my head. "Mark.... Stop." I immediately stopped and stood up, I looked at him confused. He smiled, looking down at my now very erect cock.  
"I want you, Mark." I pulled him close kissing him. I stopped. "Are you sure? I mean I would have been fine-" He put his finger to my lips  
"Just fuck me, Mark." His bluntness made me laugh. He grabbed he body wash and started to lather my cock. Would I ever get enough of him touching me?  
I started to kiss him, hard he moaned in my mouth, broke off this kiss and turned around. He aligned me and pushed back into me hard, suddenly I was inside him. He groaned loudly getting accustomed once again to me. I wrapped my hand around his cock and slowly started to stroke him as my other arm was wrapped around him, holding him tight me me.  
"Mark-" He cried, he was pleading for more friction, for me to move faster. I still moved slowly, gently trailing kisses on the back of his neck.  
"I love you, Jack." I moaned in his ear. His cock twitched in my hand, I tightened my grip, he whimpered. "You are the best lover I have had." I was not lying. I started to move quicker now, both of of breathing increased. I had found his spot again and he started to moan.  
"Please Mark, I need... I need." he was writhing around on me.  
"What, Jack... what do you need?" I wondered if my talk would get him as much as his got me.  
"Please... Mark..."  
"Please what, Jack? Do you want it harder? Faster?"  
"YES! PLEASE." He yelled, loudly. It actually made me jump. I speed up, slamming into him harder and faster and quickened my stroking as well.  
"Are you going to cum, Jack? Cum for me while I cum in you?" I was losing control of myself and almost couldn't believe the filthy things that were coming out of my mouth. "Do you want that Jack? To feel me cum inside you?"  
"Oh my GOD." He screamed, I pounded harder, harder, until.  
"I am going to cum." I told him as I did, I heard him gasp as he felt my heat enter his body. He half whined and screamed as I felt him cum, it was leaking down my hand. I kissed him on his neck, just holding him to me. I slowly removed my hand from him and wrapped both arms around him, holding him close. "You were amazing." I cooed in his ear. He threw his head back and leaned it on my shoulder. "I love you." He said still breathing heavy. His knees began to shake so a slowly pulled out of him and grabbed the washcloth. I washed him, gently, quickly washed myself and helped him out of the shower. He was exhausted.  
"Are you okay?" I asked him.  
"Yes, sleepy" He said, softly. We dried ourselves off and I led him to my bed, I threw a pair of pants at him and a shirt, both of which he swam in, but it didn't matter, we were going to nap.  
"Get settled." I was tired too. He laid down and I pulled him close to me, He laid on my chest with my arm wrapped around him.  
"Love you." I said, he smiled and feel asleep. I was not far behind him. 

I could feel eyes on me, as I slowly woke up. The late afternoon sun streamed into my room. I slightly opened one eye, Jack was watching me sleep.  
"Hey, creeper. Enjoy the view?" I asked, yawning.  
"Yes, fook you." He chuckled and scooted close to me again, laying on my chest. We just started to talk, he was sharing childhood memories with me and I told him about how I had grown up. We laid there and talked for what seemed to be hours.  
My phone suddenly rang, it was Bob. I showed Jack and he grabbed my phone and answered it and put it on speaker  
"Hey Bobert." He said  
"...My Mark, hanging around Jack has made you sound slightly Irish, less annoying, though." I laughed  
"Fook you guys." Jack spat.  
"So Mandy want's me to invite you guys over. I told her I was sick of you both, since we saw each other last night... but she insisted... Ow!"  
We laughed. I looked at Jack he nodded. "Okay, when?"  
"When....Mandy says 6ish, will that work?"  
"Yep, see you then."  
"Bye"  
"So, dinner date?" Jack asked. I rubbed the back of my neck.  
"I guess so."  
He smiled and kissed me. "Well we'd better start getting ready, It's almost four."

I really hoped that Bob wasn't planning on "outing" us, but it would be interesting to see what the night had in store.


	10. The People we may never get to be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were supposed to be going to dinner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Update*  
> This is a heavier chapter than the last few. I don't want to spoil anything but read with caution if you are sensitive to traumatic situations. 
> 
> As always comments are encouraged :)

I saw him sitting on a swing in a gazebo, looking at me smiling. I walked towards him, smiling back. The sun was shining, it was warm and the birds were singing There was one that was making a certain beeping noise, I couldn't place it. I walked into the gazebo and sat next to him, reaching for his hand, but when I touched it, I couldn't feel anything. The beeping was getting louder and louder, what the hell was that? An echoing voice was coming from somewhere, I strained to hear it, It was faint and garbled. I looked back over to Jack, he was gone. The beeping was getting louder now, and the voice was becoming more clear.  
"Jack's in pretty rough shape," It echoed, was that Bob? "I'm with Mark-" I couldn't understand most of it. "Coma. They don't know-" Then it faded into black.

 

Beep, beep, beep.

"Hey Mark." A voice beckoned me, who was it? "I'm here, so are your friends. Please." Then nothing, I was pretty sure that was my mom.  
Blackness again.

 

Beep, beep, beep.

"And the other boy?" Wait, who?  
"It's bad-" Sounded like Bob

I felt like I was floating on a river. I couldn't understand why I couldn't move or wake up. What was the last thing I could remember? I tried to think, but the blackness sucked me back down.

 

Beep, beep, beep.

"He's been in ICU, too."  
"Did anyone reach out to his family?" That was certainly my mom.  
"We couldn't" Nothingness again.

Beep, beep, beep.

"It's been three days?"  
"He will wake up, Wade." I tried to force myself to wake up or move or just do anything, but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything, let alone move. 

 

Beep, beep, beep.  
That beeping was really starting to piss me off, it was annoying. I tried to run my hand through my hair. Sudden pain burst everywhere. Oh my god. "Ahh shit." I said. I was able to move. I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital, of course. Thats where the beeping had come from. The room was dark, still and quiet other than the incessant beeping. A chair in the far corner contained a slumped over figure, they were sleeping.  
"Hello?" I croaked. My mouth was dry.  
The figure moved and his voice was thick with sleep."Mark?"  
"Wade?"  
"Oh my God, you're awake. " He stumbled up of the chair and rushed out the door coming back with a nurse. Wade was on the phone near the back of the room.

"Hi, Mr. Fischbach, are you in pain?"  
"Mark, and my arm-" looked down at it. It was in a cast and heavily bandaged up to the sleeve and could see the extra padding all the way to my shoulder underneath the gown. I must have made a face because she said.  
"It's okay, Mark. Let me give you something for the pain..." before I could answer, it was already injected into my IV. I felt fuzzy, but didn't fall back into darkness.  
She looked at Wade. "You may stay, but don't cause stress. I mean it. He may fall back into a coma. Got it?"  
Wade only nodded.  
"Wade?" I was drugged. It was hard to think.  
He sat in the chair next to my bed. "Yeah, Mark?"  
"The fuck happened?"

He looked down at his hands in his lap. "You don't remember anything?"  
"I have tried... I heard bits and peices of people talking in my room.. My Mom... Is she okay?"  
Wade patted my knee. "Yes, Bob and I have taken good care of her, She even gets along well with Felix." I was confused... Wait, Felix? As in Pewdiepie?

Wade noticed the look on my face, started to rub the back of his neck, then blurted out "I had better call everyone, I'll be back." Wade dashed out of the room. He lied. He had already made that phone call, I had over heard it when the nurse was in here.  
Why was Felix here...wait... what happened.. Jack came to stay with me... and we were going to Bob's... the medicine was making it hard to remember... Oh fuck. Jack.

The beeping was now more frantic and there were actually alarms going off. In a flurry of activity I had three nurses and a Doctor over me.  
"Mr. Fischbach, please try to relax." The doctor commanded. No, Jack  
"Where the hell is Jack?" I screamed, startling one of the nurses.  
"Slow deep breaths, Mark." the nurse from earlier instrusted.  
"No, Jack... Where the fuck is he?" I was getting pissed. The alarms keep ringing.  
"Mark, you need to relax, you are hurting yourself," another nurse said  
"Okay," the doctor turned to the nurse. "This isn't working. We have to settle him down. Give him 30 of Ativan."  
"NO!" I screamed "Don't fucking drug me, juss- tell mah-" I slipped into blackness again.

When I woke up again, early morning light was streaming into my room and I was alone. Once again there was a sudden rush of pain in my right arm, I also noticed my chest and head hurt too. I tentatively reached to the back of my head. A large bandage was wrapped around it. I moved my legs which sent shards of pain stabbing into my back and chest. I sighed and closed my eyes.  
I snapped them open a second later, Jack. Oh God. why wouldn't anyone tell me anything about him. He was with me, even if I couldn't remember exactly what happened I knew that much. Where was he? Was he dead? I started to panic, I couldn't breath. I tried to sit up, but pain prevented me from doing so. The alarms started to ring again and the doctor and nurse were next to me in an instant.

"Hey, Mark... relax." the nurse said, as soothingly as she could  
"Wh-Why Wo-won' an-anyone tell me about Ja-Ja-" I started to gasp for air  
"Mr. Fischbach, I am going to have to sedate you again if you can't calm down. You had a collapsed lung and you cannot be breathing this heavy, let alone your heart rate this high." He barked at me. "Take slow steady breaths and calm down." The blood pressure cuff started to measure. The doctor sighed. "Your blood pressure is too high. You need relax!"  
I heard a footsteps "Hey-ease up mate. He is probably terrified."  
"You can't be in here right now!" the nurse snapped. He ignored her.  
"Mark- take it easy jus breath man." It was Felix.  
"Pl-please tell me a-about Jack, Felix." I begged.  
The doctor stormed over the the door "You! Out! NOW." Felix looked pissed.  
"For fuck sake. He scared and confused. He's injured, not stupid!"  
"OUT!" the doctor bellowed.  
"Don't make him leave, he is making me feel better." I gasped, and it was surprisingly the truth. The alarms were starting to calm down. The doctor glanced back at the machines and shook his head. "Okay, but Mr. Fischbach, you have to stay calm. If you don't I will be rushing you back into surgery. " I nodded still shaking. The doctor left but the nurse stayed behind, monitoring me.  
Felix walked into the room and smiled. We didn't know each other all that well, but a familiar face was comforting, and I was sure he knew something about Jack.  
"Hey." He said, sitting next to my bed. I started to try to sit up again. The nurse put her hand on my shoulder.  
"No, do not get up, Mark. You need to lay down." I huffed but obeyed.  
"What time is it?" I asked  
Felix looked at his watch, "About 5:30am. At least it is here, my body is telling me it's about lunch time."  
"My mom?"  
"Bob and Wade took her back to the hotel so they all could rest, they have been up for a long time."  
The nurse got me some water. "Now, sip this only. You cannot use a straw due to your lung. I am going to head out now, but please keep clam, like the doc said, we wouldn't want to have to whisk you away to surgery again." I nodded, she turned to leave. She said to Felix "You know he cannot be upset, so watch what you say to him, and don't excite him. I will have security remove you if necessary."  
"I understand." the nurse left the room  
I looked at Felix. "Look, I know you know what is going on with Jack.If you are here... it must be... I need to know. Everytime I wake up, after I discover the massive amount of pain, I panic because I don't have any idea what happened to him. Please- Please tell me." Felix sighed.  
" I get why the want to keep quiet not to upset you, but it isn't working any way. If I were in your shoes I would feel the same. You have to stay calm, though. I don't want to end up in an American jail... okay? I'm too pretty." I laughed a little and quickly stopped. It hurt like hell. The mood shifted violently to somber. How was I going to survive it if he-  
"Please..." I looked away from him out the window. "Just tell me." I inhaled sharply "Is he dead?" My voice was thin and frail.  
"Jesus Christ, man. They haven't told you he is alive? He is alive, Mark....."  
Thank God  
"But?"  
"He is in pretty bad shape. You both were in a coma. He hasn't woken up yet."  
"How long has it been?"  
He hesitated "Felix?"  
"Today is day 5."  
"Holy shit, Five days?" I was confused... There were days that I didn't remember at all. What had happened? How?  
"Mark, relax. Take a breath." Felix pointed to the guard over his shoulder.  
"Yeah... Right..." I muttered. "What... what happened?"  
Just then My mom, Bob, Mandy and Wade came into the room. Felix got up out of the chair "I'll be back later."

After my Mom had cried several tears, hugged me and made sure I was still alive, Wade convinced her to go back to the hotel. They had only just left and they all had been up for literal days.  
"No," she had said "I am not leaving him alone. Wh-what if-" Bob cut her off. "You go with Wade and get some rest, Wade take Mandy with you too. Get some rest, I'll stay and then someone can relieve me later." Reluctantly, she agreed.  
"Mom, I am okay. Go. Sleep. Wade make sure she eats, okay?" Wade nodded. My mom kissed my forehead and they left. Bob sighed and sat down.  
I looked at his face, he smiled. There were dark circle under his eyes and he looked like he had aged 10 years,  
"Glad you are awake, Mark." He said softly.  
"Yeah... How long have you been awake Bob. You look like shit."  
"Gee, thanks asshole." He smiled  
"Bob...I need you to tell me what the hell happened and whats wrong with Jack. Felix told me he was alive... but that's it."  
Bob shook his head. "I don't know, I mean you just woke up and your mom would kill me if I put you back in a coma.."  
My face turned red. "I am so fucking sick of people dodging my damned questions Bob. You are the only one who knows how close Jack and I actually are. Please, Bob." tears rolled down my face. "I am so scared." Bob got up and handed my me water.  
"Drink, you are probably dehydrated and crying wont help."  
"GOD DAMN IT BOB." I yelled. "Do I have to rip out my IV and cords and walk around until I find him? Because I fucking will!" I started to get up, ignoring the screaming pain all over and the extreme dizziness that washed over me. Bob got up and pushed me back down.  
"Christ Mark, okay. Okay." He sighed "I want you to brace yourself, it is bad. Try to relax okay? "  
I nodded angrily "Hurry up already. Felix said I... well I guess we have been here for 5 days now, and that Jack is alive. That is all I know. I cannot remember what the hell happened."

Bob nodded and started to tell the story. I had texted him as we left the house, letting him know we were on the way. I remembered that and then pulling out of the driveway. According to eyewitnesses,we were on the interstate and a Semi that was going to fast clipped my car as it was changing lanes. This seemingly cased me to lose control, then we careened off the road, through a guardrail and rolled down and embankment into the below wooded area. 

"The car rolled 9 times and landed on the roof." Bob was very uncomfortable telling me this, he would shift in the chair and stutter. "When the car landed, You were not conscious, Jack was.... the car-" He choked down a sob "The car started on fire, Mark. I am not sure how, but Jack got himself out and pulled you out to safety. The car exploded..." He stop, swallowed and shook his head. "Jack wasn't far enough away and the explosion threw him 40 feet away from the car."  
Tears were running like water down my face. Oh my sweet Jack...  
"He- He saved your life, Mark. The doctors have no idea how he was able to get out on his own, his right leg was shattered, as well as his left wrist. He had massive internal bleeding and hemorrhaging. They got that to stop, the trouble is now-" He stopped, cleared his throat and continued. "The trouble is now, he has swelling on the brain which is causing pressure on his skull. The are working diligently to correct this, but-"  
"But what, Bob?"  
He sighed sadly and a tear ran down his face. "They are not sure he will ever wake up, Mark. The brain injury is bad."  
"No... No..." I started to shake  
"Breath Mark, Just breath."  
"Who- who is with him? Is he alone??" I tried not to hyperventilate.  
"Settle down. Felix has been here since shortly after it happened, He got on the first plane he could. I got in touch with him because I thought maybe he may know better how to reach Jack's. parents and siblings, but we were unsuccessful. The hospital is working hard to reach them. He has never been alone. We all are...well were taking turns, making sure no one was alone. Your Mom also sat with him too."  
"Bob... I need to see him."  
"I knew that was coming No, Mark. Your lung collapsed, you have 3 broken ribs, your right arm is broken in three spots and you have second degree burns... not from the fire from the passenger side airbag. They think you were trying to keep it from hitting Jack-" He sighed "You also were in a coma for 3 and a half days and have a massive concussion. You need to stay right where you are."  
"Please, Bob. I know I'm bad, but he is- my- soulmate Bob. I love him more than anything, and I know if he could he would be here with me, no matter what was wrong with him. For Christ sake, he pulled me out of a burning car... He saved my life. Please, help me see him. "  
Bob knew that he was going to help me one way or the other, he sighed defeated. He snuck out and got a wheel chair. We had to wait for shift change but when that happened Bob picked me up out of bed, got my IV situated, turned off the monitor so it wouldn't sound the alarm and took me to his room.

Bob stopped the chair just before the room and came around to face me. "Before we go in I want to prepare you. He looks very bad Mark. It is heartbreaking to look at him. So prepare yourself. "  
I sighed, feeling the tears slip down my face. "Let's go, Bob." I felt the bile rising in my throat, this was the hardest thing I was about to do. My heart sunk into my stomach as we entered the room.


	11. How he saved a life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will life ever be the same? We see through Jack's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers. So this chapter is very pretty sad and will have what some may consider graphic medical descriptions, so if that bothers you steer clear.  
> Thanks for sticking with me. :)
> 
> The view point will be changing this chapter. I know this is heavy, but take heart, dear ones. It won't last forever. ;)  
> I hope you enjoy!

I took a sharp breath in, muttering "Oh my god," when I saw him. His eyes were swollen, his face back and blue. He had a gash on his left cheek that had scabbed over and there was still dried blood around his nostrils. He was hooked up to a respirator and the annoying beeping now reminded me that he was still alive. A thick cast covered his leg as well as one on his wrist. His head had a bandage, but also tubes coming out of it, I assumed to drain fluids. I swallowed hard, I was starting to get dizzy but I wasn't going to say anything. I knew I probably didn't have long to be with him. A choked sob escaped my lips before I could control it.  
"Bring me to the bed, Bob." My voice was raspy. He did so, I gently touched Jack's hand. "I am so sorry, Jack. So sorry." I said. "I don't know if you can hear me, I could hear somethings... but if you can hear me, I need you to come back to me."  
I noticed that I had woken Felix up who started towards me.  
"They let you out of bed?" He said confused and then looked at Bob.  
"Not exactly," Bob rolled his eyes and shrugged. Felix looked as bad as Bob did. He was unshaven scruffy and had dark circles under his eyes. Why hadn't I noticed that earlier?  
"Hey, Felix, are you okay?"  
"Yeah, tired, Jet lag... never got to catch up on sleep I guess." He motioned to Bob "We both have pretty much lived here for the last few days."  
I looked at Bob, he looked worse than before. "I-I'm sorry you guys." Bob sighed  
"Where else would I be?" Bob said, forcing a smile. Felix smiled at him. "Why don't you go get some coffee and something to eat, Bob. They are both in one room for the time being, and I will stay."  
Bob needed a break, I could tell. He smiled, nodded and left the room.  
"You know you should be in bed, Right?" I started to protest, he held up his hands. "I get it, man. If the person I loved was in this shape, I would be with them, no matter what." I nodded sadly, glancing at Jack. "I am just glad that you both felt the same, Jack would have been so crushed if you.. I am glad that you both are on the same page." He smiled sadly at me.  
"Ah, Felix? Thanks for... helping me with the doc, and staying with Jack. I am glad you are here."  
"I didn't know what else to do, when Bob messaged me... I just got on a plane." He blushed "It was rash, I had nothing prepared. Coincidently, your subs, Jack's subs and mine are all losing their minds." Guilt panged in my stomach. Oh no. "Don't worry, I made a vlog that I posted to your social media sites. I was very vague, but at least it is something."  
I nodded and looked back at Jack, He looked so helpless and I couldn't help but let tears fall down my face. There was a sudden commotion in the hallway, I had been discovered. The nurse knew exactly where I was. She rushed into Jack's room with a security guard. "What the hell are you doing?!" She yell. "You cannot be off the montiers, or in here. I am taking you back to your room, NOW." She looked at Felix "Did you do this?!" He held his hands up an shook his head.  
"I wasn't his fault." I offered lamely. I grasped Jack's hand a little tighter. "You have to wake up, Jack. I will be back when I can." The nurse huffed over to me and carefully wheeled me back to my room. I was dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up. The nurse got be back into bed and hooked me to the monitors again, she started to take my vitals and was shaking her head. "Don't ever do that again. You could have crashed, then died in that room and I wouldn't have even known." Had I gotten her in trouble?  
"I'm sorry, I had to see him." She huffed at me. I was sorry she may be in trouble, but not sorry I went to see Jack. Once she was convinced I would live, she gave me a dose of something that made me feel sleepy. "You need to rest, Mark." With that she left, turning off the light. I was starting to fall asleep, but his face kept coming to my mind. What if he never woke up?  
***

I was sitting in a gazebo, Mark was walking towards me. It was so warm and sunny here, I must still be in America, Ireland is never like this. I was enjoying the warmth and smiling at Mark as he sat next to me and reached for my hand. I felt myself blush, but couldn't feel his touch. Mark was there and then gone. Wait, something wasn't right. Where was he? Where did Mark go? I started to smell smoke and suddenly the edges of the gazebo were dancing with flames. I got up, searching for Mark. I had to get him out again. Wait... again? Suddenly there were alarms sounding, but from where.  
"We need to get him to the OR, NOW!" an unfamiliar voice screamed. I was confused, where was I and where was Mark?  
"He's starting to crash!" I heard again, but this time it was faint and I slowly slipped into the darkness. 

"And Mark?" I heard a distant voice, I was pretty sure it was Wade.  
"He's still in a coma, Wade stop. Before you go in... Jack looks... bad Wade. Really bad.  
Gee thanks, Bob! I thought.  
"Holy Shit, Jack." I heard Wade whisper. Maybe I did look bad. I was slipping again, I tried to stay but the blackness overtook me.

"Thanks for calling me." The Swedish voice said. Felix was here? This must be bad. Am I dying? Where was Mark?  
"Fuck." I heard him say. "Hey Jack," his voice was anguished and tight. "You look like hell, mate." I tried to speak, reach out, move, anything, but it was no use. I started to fade again, "No, Damn it!" I tried to tell myself. It was no good. 

"So Mark is still in coma?" It was Felix again, how long had I been gone?  
"Yeah, but the doctors are optimistic he will wake up soon. He's in better shape." Wade explained.  
"He also wasn't thrown several feet from an explosion, either." Bob pointed out.  
What? Explosion? What exploded?  
"Mark's Mom will be here soon, so I am going back to his room." Bob continued. Mark's Mom? I still couldn't really grasp what was happening. 

"Have they be able to reach his family?" an unknown voice asked.  
"No." It was Felix "They thought I may be able to, but I can't" His voice was filled with remorse. "There are several people trying to get in touch with them." Jack sighed, at least he was thinking a sigh. They meant his mom, his family. I guess this is bad. Their numbers are in my phone, just get them- Jack then realized he had no idea where his phone would have ended up. He was trying to remember what had happened, but he couldn't place it...  
I kept fading in and out, not knowing how much time was passing or really what was going on. I felt a hand gently rest on my arm. "Jack, Please man. I really need you to wake up." It was Felix, his voice was pleading and sounded as if he had been crying.  
"Don't cry, Felix." I said, but I must had only thought it, because he said nothing. I want to wake up, I don't want everyone I care about this upset. I wanted to assure Felix he was okay, and Mark... what had happened to him? Was he okay? I wanted more than anything to know. Alarms started to ring again.  
"For fuck sake." Felix hissed. There was a lot of noise and people's voices suddenly. "What's happening?" demanded Felix.  
"He's hemorrhaging, I am sure of it." An unknown voice said "We have to get him back in OR."  
"Oh God." Bob said, his voice laced with terror.  
"I'm Okay Bob" I tired to say, but once again I couldn't and then there was silence, blackness, nothing.  
When I was aware again I was back in the gazebo, it was no longer on fire. It was nice here, peaceful.  
"Hey." I heard a voice, it sounded like... Sans?  
"I must really being trippin all the balls" I said  
He chuckled and in his tough Boston voice, well I guess it is my voice, said "Eh. Your brain Kid."  
"You can hear me?"  
"Like I said, your brain, kid." This was strange, but of course a video game character would be taking to me while I was locked in my head. That did make sense.   
"Am I dead, Sans?"  
"Nope." he said, winking "Not in good shape though."  
"Can you tell me what happened?"  
"You know what happened kid, Just think."

So I did, and suddenly flashes started to come back to me. The initial impact, the sound of sheet metal crunching as we went through the guardrail, Mark's arm flying in front of me before the first sickening flip of the car, then the bone shattering landing, on the roof. Then I remembered the pain, my leg, my head, my wrist. It was eerily quiet, but there was a strange hissing... I looked at Mark, he was out cold. Through blood dripping into my own eyes I could see blood pouring out of the back of his head. There was then heat, intense heat. The car was on fire. I scrambled to undo my seatbelt and fell with a thud on my head. Somehow, I got out. I wasn't really able to use my leg, I was sure it was broken, but somehow I was able to drag it and get to Mark. I got him out and for a moment he woke up, blood was pouring down his neck. I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out. "Jack?" he muttered. I could hear the car was fully engulfed in fire, it happened so quickly and I knew we had to get away from it. With the last ounce of energy I had, I lunged at Mark, pushing him as far as I could away from the car. I fell on the ground, in a jumbled mess, near the trunk of the car. He didn't go as far as I wanted, but I hoped it was enough. He went unconscious when he hit the ground. "Fuck." I muttered. The hissing increased and suddenly there was a loud "BOOM" and then there was blackness.

 

"Jaysus Fuck!" I said. How the hell did I manage to survive that? How did I get Mark out?  
"Pretty intense, huh kid? You're some bad ass."  
"Wait...Is Mark...Is he dead?"  
"Dunno." Sans said and suddenly I was pulled back into the hospital room.

"This is Jack, and this is our friend, Felix." It was Bob's voice  
"This poor kid looks worse than Mark does, " She said and moved closer to him. "Jack, thank you for saving my son." She turned away "Is he going to be okay?"  
"They don't know," Felix said, struggling to keep the emotion out of his voice. "They are not sure if he will ever wake up."  
So maybe I didn't survive. There was blackness again, he didn't know for how long. Jack realized he was back at the gazebo again.

Sans was there. "I think I am dying." I said matter of factly.  
"Eh. You cannot give up just yet, Stay Determined."  
"Nice." I said to him... or myself. I felt like I had stayed in the gazebo longer this time. When I was pulled back, it was Marks voice the beckoned me  
"I am so sorry Jack, So sorry." Mark was alive, at least I think he was. Was I dreaming? Was I already dead? There was a sudden rush of activity and Mark said  
"Jack! You have to wake up!" I tried, I really did. I wanted to wake up, kiss him, hold him, tell him everything was okay. But I couldn't. I suddenly faded into to blackness again. I half expected to wake up with Sans in the gazebo again, but I didn't. I was drifting between nothingness and voices in my hospital room. I just wanted to wake up, damn it. I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard Bob's voice cut through.  
"Hey Jack. It has been hell trying to keep Mark out of here. He is constantly trying to get to you. He isn't recovering because all he can think about is you, here."  
I wanted to comfort Bob, it seemed like he was the one keeping everything and everyone together. The poor guy must be exhausted.  
"Listen Man, You have to wake up. Mark will not survive you dying. He really won't." He cleared his throat. "I miss your loud, annoying, Irish voice, Jack."

I wanted to wake up now more than ever. Mark was not okay, Felix was not okay, Bob, and Wade were not okay... and if they reached my family.. they would come all the way here.... "WAKE THE HELL UP!" I screamed at myself. 

A voice cut through "The swelling is his brain is going down and normal brain wave patterns are starting to surface. This is a very good sign."  
"Why won't he wake up then?" Felix asked  
"Just give it sometime, he has been through a lot." As if Felix didn't know that.

I was just going to have to keep working harder and harder to get myself to wake up. I wasn't sure how, but this much I knew. Jack Septiceye was not dying in this hospital.


	12. The voice of an Irish man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family arrives and the yelling comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again there are medical things in this chapter so if that bothers you steer clear. Things are starting to look up. Thanks for sticking with me.  
> If you want to follow me:  
> Twitter: jacks25plusfans  
> Tumblr: septic84

Chapter Text

I hated that I was forced to say here, in my room and not see Jack. I knew it was necessary, but I still hated it. It was dark, late at night and that is when things hit me the worse. He have been unconscious for about 10 days now. I was being released in the morning, but he still had no change. I closed my eyes and fell asleep finally. I was in my room when the figure approached me. "See I told you, you did kill Jack Septiceye." He grinned, No, wait this isn't- I jerked awake. Jack had to be okay, he just had to be.  
I was filing out the last of my release papers when I glanced down the hall and saw a woman and two men near Jack's door. I looked at the nurse "Who are they?"  
"Jack's Family. We finally were able to reach them." My heart started to race, I wanted to see them. I hadn't seen Jack for a long time myself, but I wanted to explain, apologize...  
I hurriedly handed the paperwork to the nurse and rushed down to them. His mother, father and one of his brothers were standing just inside the room, Felix was standing up in the corner of the room and his eyes met mine. They turned to me.  
"Ah, I am Mark. Jack was- he was- " I couldn't finish, the all just stared at me  
Felix to the rescue, again. "Jack was in the car with Mark when the Semi ran them off the road. He was literally just released." they all looked at me.  
"I'm sorry." I whispered. Jack's mother went over to him and kissed him on the head. I was in agony watching her heart break as she looked at her youngest child. Jack's eyes looked less swollen, the cuts were almost gone and the bruises was now a brownish yellow color and disrupting. His Father and Brother joined his Mother by the bed. I felt like I was intruding. Felix approached me. "Hey, we should go get some food, yeah?" I nodded slowly and followed him as he led me to the cafeteria.

We sat down and started to eat, I was feeling so guilty, I still didn't remember the accident. I felt like I should have been able to do something to prevent all this. Jack couldn't die. I felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything to help or fix this. Felix cleared his throat.  
"How are you feeling, you look tired."  
I shook my head "I'm fine. You look tired. Have you been here this whole time?"  
He nodded "Didn't really get to getting a motel, you know?" I sighed  
"Hey, why do you stay with me, I have the room. Jack's family is here now, so he isn't going to be alone. I am sure a shower, some real food and a long sleep would be good for you." This was awkward, after all we did not know each other that well.  
He thought about it and relented. "Actually, that would be great. I really need a proper shower." I used his phone and called Bob, asking him to pick us up. I was going to head home, make sure Felix was settled, shower and head back.

It had been a few hours, After we dropped Felix off I had Bob take me the pharmacy, to get a new phone and grocery store. Then we went back home. Felix was on my couch, freshly showered staring off into space.  
"Hey, I got some food."  
He jumped "Oh thanks."  
After the three of us ate, I showed Felix to the guest room, Jack's things were still in here. We both shared sad nods. I changed the bedding.  
"Thanks, Mark, I really appreciate this."  
"No problem, make yourself at home. I left a spare key on the counter, incase you want to go for a walk or something. Bob and Wade have agreed to help with transport to the hospital. I left my phone number too, I got a new one. I am going to head back to the hospital, make sure Jack's family has places to stay." He yawned. I smiled.  
"Catch ya later."

After I carefully showered (after all my right arm was still casted and banaged) Bob took me back to the hospital. Jacks mother was in the chair near his bed, his dad and brother in the far chairs. I approached his mother.  
"Hi, again I am Mark. I just wanted to say I am sorry. Sorry this happened, sorry it took so long to reach you..."  
"I understand," She said, grasping Jack's hand.  
"He hasn't been alone, he has some pretty good friends. He is loved. He will be okay." Who was I trying to convince, her or myself? "Have you made any arrangements as far as a hotel goes?"  
She shook her head "Can I do that for you?"  
"I don't want to leave him." She said. Jack's Brother stood up.  
"Ma, the trip was long, and we all are going to need ta rest." She nodded.  
"Okay I am going to go make arrangements for you, I'll be back."  
I booked them two rooms at the nicest hotel that was near the hospital. I didn't have the room for them to stay with me. I called Wade this time and he came to the hospital.  
I introduced him to Jack's family. "Wade and Bob have been a huge help with this and are providing transportation. He can take you to the hotel and get you settled." His mother looked exhausted. She looked at Jack "Don't cha go anywhere, I'll be back." Wade ushered them to the Hotel, they all looked beat.  
I sat down next to Jack, it was the first time we had been alone since this all happened.  
"Hey Jackaboy. Your family is here now. I am sorry we couldn't get them here sooner." Sunset light was starting to come into the room. "I am so sorry this happened. I am sorry you are here... It should be me. I love you. I need you. Please, Jack. Wake up." I kissed his hand and started to cry. My ribs and lung protested, but I couldn't stop.

Days went by, my life had been a constant trip to and from the hospital, my house and Jack' s families hotel. Everyone took turns and shifts being with Jack. He had been in a coma now for 25 days, hope was wearing thin. It was late at night, everyone else was resting. I had taken the night shift for the most part, I rested my head on the bed. "Jack. it's been long enough, wake the hell up you Irish bastard." Before I knew it I was crying again, managing to cry myself to sleep.  
I was awoken by something touching my hair, no a hand stroking my hair. I slowly opened my eyes, Jack's hand was rubbing my hair. I looked at him, his eyes were open.  
"Oh Jack." I whispered he blinked a few times and shifted, wincing. "Hey take it easy, let me go get someone." I quickly kissed his forehead.

The nurse started to take care of him. "Sean, you have a breathing tube in, I know it feels strange, try not to fight it." He slightly nodded "Are you in pain?" Again he slightly nodded. "Where? Can you point?" He weakly lifted his unbroken wrist and pointed all over his body, stopped at his head longer. "Yeah, your head hurts the worst, correct?" He nodded. She injected medicine into his IV. "Okay, I am going to take to the doctor, they were paged and on their way in." She left the room.  
I sat next to him. "I have to call your family" His eyes started to tear up. "Hey, no. They are okay. I have taken good care of them..." He wanted to speak, I could tell. but the breathing tube was preventing that. "Do you think you could write?" He nodded. I grabbed a pen and paper from the nurses station.  
He was weak, but sloppily he wrote down. "I love you." Tears streamed out of my eyes. "I love you too, Jack. Try to relax, I don't want you to slip under again..." He started to write again.  
"How long?"  
"What do you mean, Jack?"  
"Here" was all he wrote.  
I rubbed the back of my neck. "Today is 26 days, Jack." His eyes got wide. "Hey, it's okay. A lot happened. We will talk about that later. Its a miracle that you are even awake." I looked away "We were told you may never wake up." He reached for my hand "I am fine, Jack." He wrote "Fam?"  
"Your mom, dad and one of your brothers are here, they are at the hotel sleeping, it's a little after 1 am. Felix is at my house, sleeping, Bob and Wade are home sleeping. We have all been here, waiting for you to wake up." He nodded and closed his eyes. Panic stuck me, I guess I couldn't keep it out of my voice because when I said "Jack?" He snapped his eyes open. There blue radiance had been dulled somewhat, but they were still beatiful. He pointed to my face, where a small scar was from the accident, and then to my arm that was still casted, the exposed skin was scarred from the burns. "I am okay, my arm is healing, the scar is no big deal. You need to worry about you." He rolled his eyes, I laughed. "Oh Jack, I have missed you." He grabbed the paper and wrote "Doof." I smiled again.

I called everyone at 8:00 Am to get them here. The doctors were watching him closely, but they wanted to leave the breathing tube in for another day, just in case. Everyone was smiling, laughing and happy. I was sitting outside his room, his family was in there now and Felix was on his way. I closed my eyes for a second and the next thing I knew someone was throwing a blanket over me, it was his mom.  
"Sorry, to wake you."  
"Thanks, how long was I asleep?"  
"Few hours... listen thank you, for what you did for Jack...us... I am happy my son has people who love him so much."  
"He is very loveable." She smiled at me. "We are headed for some food, Felix is in there now, why don't you join him?" I nodded.  
I went to the bathroom and got a bottle of water before heading in.  
I over heard Felix talking  
"He has been a mess. He convinced Bob to take him down here when he hadn't even been out of his coma 5 hours. Nurses were pissed."  
He laughed. I was sure Jack was writing something  
"He doesn't remember the accident, at all really. He was in a coma for 5 days. Lung collapsed. broken ribs bad bump to the head, arm broken and burned. He's okay now, mate. More so now that you're awake. He has been really great throughout this whole thing. Taking care of everyone."  
There was a pause, Jack was writing again.  
"Ahh, well I tried to help and take care of him as much as I could.... Bob and Wade too. Mark is tough, Jack. I have gotten to know him pretty well. He's totally in love with you. Like over the moon and shit." I heard choked laughing sounds.  
"Stop... you can laugh with a tube dumbass."  
I walked in, "Hey guys."  
Felix nodded, Jack's eyes lit up.  
"Gonna go find some food..." Felix winked at Jack as he left, taking the sheets of paper Jack had written on with him. I kissed his forehead.  
"Hey." Jack wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I am so glad you are getting back to yourself, but don't" I chuckled. "it's creepy." His eyes smiled.  
He started to write.  
"Thank you for taking care of me fam."  
"Of course, Jack. I am so sorry this happened..." shame crossed my face  
We wrote "STOP. Not yer fault." I nodded. He lifted his arm and put his hand on my face, I leaned into it. "I have missed you so much, Jack." His mom came into the room. Jack's hand was still on my face. I tried to shift away, but Jack wouldn't allow it.  
"It's okay, Mark, I know. He told me. Its obviously that you love him, so I am fine with it." I sighed relieved. "Doc said they can take the tube out tomorrow, Jackaboy." He mom stepped behind me and mussed his hair. He dropped his hand from my face and grabbed the paper.  
"Mark. Home, Sleep." He wrote.  
I shook my head "I'm fine." He rolled his eyes and wrote.  
"Don't be arse. GO" His mom chuckled.  
"Yeah, Jack's right. You should rest. Yer still recovering too."  
"Not fair, using the mom card is not fair." I joked  
"To bad, go." Jack's eyes showed amusement. I got up, kissed him on the cheek and he blushed.  
"I will be back  
Felix met me in the hallway "I'm headed to the house to get some rest, I was ordered by Jack and his mom." I sighed, he laughed.  
"Okay I'll got too. Just go say byes." He did and then we went back to my house.  
I was numb, I still couldn't remember what had happened, I only knew through stories. I did need sleep, that was certain, and now that he was awake, maybe I could.  
I made dinner for Felix and me, Bob went to be with his wife, who had been neglected throughout this because of how often we needed Bob, Wade too. I had to send her and Molly flowers, for sure.  
"How long have you known you were in love with Jack?" Felix asked, breaking my thoughts.  
"Oh... Well after he pulled his bar stunt." He nodded. "He loves you, it's obvious." He laughed. "Oh the fans girls will be super annoying." I laughed, and it hurt but was good. We cleaned up from dinner and both decided to go to bed. Felix stood up and sighed. "What a fuckin month, huh?"  
"Yeah..." I felt tears stinging my eyes. He looked at me, and shocking us both pulled me into a hug. "You're gonna be okay, tough guy."  
I pulled away, smiled and we went to bed. Felix and I had become friends, which was good because obviously he was important to Jack.

I felt like I was falling, no, flipping and then smelled smoke. I screamed and jolted awake. I was starting to remember. I looked around, the clock read 6:30. I got up and started to make breakfast. Felix came to the kitchen and sat down.  
"So is screaming how you wake guests?" He joked.  
"Only the ones I really like." I winked at him he laughed.  
I handed him a plate and sat down myself.  
"So have you thought about what you are going to do when he's out of the hospital?" Felix asked, carefully. "I am sure his family will want him back in Ireland as soon as he is able."  
"I know." I said softly.  
"You belong together, you know. True love and all that shit..." He said though a mouthful of eggs. I nodded and sighed.  
What was I going to do?

Bob and Wade both met us at my house as we went back to the hospital. His family wasn't there yet and Wade was on standby to go pick them up. Felix and Bob made small talk, sitting on the chairs outside of the room. I walked in. He was sleeping. I watched him, his body looked small and he had lost some weight. The beeping and the clicking of the breathing tube a constant reminder of how close I was to losing him. I sat next to him, watching him sleep.  
He opened his eyes and tried to smile around the breathing tube. "Morning." I murmured. He grabbed the paper and wrote "Creeper." winking at me. I laughed and kissed his hand.

Once his family arrived the doctors were ready to remove the breathing tube.  
"Okay Sean, "  
"Jack-" his brother corrected.  
"Okay, Jack. On the count of three I am going to remove the tube. When I reach three, I need you to blow, like you are blowing out birthday candles, as hard as you can, okay?" Jack nodded. "Okay, 1, 2, 3 blow, blow, blow." He did and the tube came out without any issues, Jack was breath raspily on his own.  
"Very good. Your throat will be sore, I want you to drink plenty of water. I will check on you later."  
"Hi." He croaked at his mom.  
"I am so glad you are okay." His mom was crying.  
"Ma, don't cry, I'm alright."  
I stepped out, because I was crying too.

His family had taken their turn to go eat. Bob and I went in, Bob hung back.  
Jack took a deep breath in and yelled. "Bobert, Top of the mornin to yah ye bastard. Get over here!" Bob and I both were startled, he went over to the bed. Jack pulled him into a hug "I knew ye missed my voice." He winked at him  
Bob smiled and hugged him back. "I am so glad you are okay."  
"I know, buddy."  
I hung back and let them catch up. Bob looked up "Well I have to get back to Mandy, call me if you need a ride." He clapped my shoulder and left. I just looked at Jack.  
"What?" he asked  
"I don't know..." I felt shy and uneasy  
"Come over here, yah big doof." I went to sit, Jack pulled my arm to bringing me close to his lips and he kissed me, gently. "I have wanted to do that for a long time."  
"Me too." I sat down, holding his hand. He was alive, I was alive and the next chapters of our story were shaky at best.  
"I love you, Mark." He said, god I had missed his voice.  
"I love you too, Jack. So much." I leaned in and kissed him again.


	13. The lies I tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Jack to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more medical stuff in this chapter as well as angst, depression and drinking. Heads up.

Jack was making good progress, he didn't have a permanent brain injury (though the doctors said he may have migraines as a result) and his wrist and leg were healing well. It was getting close to his release from the hospital and as expected his mother was already getting things arranged for him to go home. I hung out in the background mostly, his family was the center of this, as they should be, but still I was lonely. Felix had said his farewells and left a few days ago, he had to get back to his life and so I did too.  
I started to slowly make videos again. They were lackluster at best, but by now our subs knew about the accident now. Jack had tweeted and I recorded a short video to upload on his behalf. Life was not the same. I was struggling to say the least. I had become nervous to drive anywhere and I still couldn't remember the accident. Bits and pieces would come back in flashes, but I didn't get the whole picture. I had become withdrawn and as his family was around, hardly ever saw Jack. I didn't want to intrude.  
Jack called me from the hospital phone, He had done so a few times.  
"Hey." I mustered as much of an upbeat tone as possible.  
"So my dad and brother flew back to get my apartment ready and my Ma is going to stay to fly home with me..." he trailed off  
"That's good, Jack." I forced a smile, hoping it came through in my voice. "I've washed and packed your clothes and other items. I can drop them off, whenever."  
I heard him sigh. "Thanks, are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." I answered too quickly  
"So, are you.. mad at me?"  
I was surprised by this "What? Of course not. Why would I be?"  
"You've been avoiding me..."  
He was right, I just didn't want to step on any toes. "I'm sorry." Was all I could say.  
"Mark, I miss you."  
A tear rolled down my face. I missed him too. "Well I can come visit."  
His voice was excited. "Yes, now please. Bring pizza!"  
In spite of the lump in my throat and the ache in my heart I laughed.  
"That's better."  
I got in my car, only focusing on pizza to quell my rising anxiety. I didn't want to drive, but even more I was scared I was going to break down at the hospital about Jack leaving.

Jack's mom was in the room when I arrived with his things and a pizza. I set down his things I had packed and turned to Jack, He smiled.  
"Thank God, real food." His mom smiled and got up. "Going for a walk," she said winking at Jack.  
I handed him pizza and sat and watched him devour his slice.  
"Slow down, if you puke on me, I'll take it away." I smiled, but it did not touch my eyes.  
He stopped completely. "What's wrong, Mark?"  
"I'm fine."  
"Will you fookin jus tell me what's the matter?" I shook my head.  
"Don't worry about me, I am fine."  
"No. You are not." He wiped his mouth on a napkin, took a drink and pulled me toward him. "Mark, you were here nonstop when I was in a coma and now that I am awake you stay away." He looked into my eyes searching for an answer. He found none. He looked down. "Are you regretting....things?" He looked up through his lashes  
"No, no." I closed my eyes. "I know I have been...distracted." a gave him a sad smile. "I'll do better."  
He pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. I kissed back, getting lost in him. My heart raced and I wrapped my arms around him gently. I pulled away and rested my forehead against his.  
"I miss you." I whispered.  
"I know, me too."

His mother came back and we all ate pizza. Jack wanted to get out of bed, but with a broken leg and wrist he couldn't use crutches. It was getting late and almost time to leave. I feared the nightmares that awaited. It was also getting dark and I didn't want to drive in the dark.  
"Well, I should get going." Jack frowned  
"Will you come back tomorrow?" He asked hopefully. I nodded and kissed him on the forehead.  
"Sleep well." I sighed as I left.

Sleep eluded me, I kept thinking about Jack, his mother and them leaving. It was going to be soon. I had been laying there for hours. I felt sick, and was in pain from the accident. Suddenly I didn't want to be alone, but there was no other choice. I tweeted "Sleep you bastard, take me." It wasn't even five minutes and Felix texted me.

"Issues?"  
"Yeah... "  
"How's Jack?"  
"Getting better. He will be released and in Ireland by the end of the week." As I typed that, I started to panic.  
"And that's why you can't sleep." It was a statement, not a question.  
"Probably."  
"Have you told him?"  
"How can I? I mean he almost died, of course his mom and family want him home."  
There wasn't a response to that. It was almost 6am so I decided to shower and try to eat. Eating lately made me sick, anything Youtube related made me sick, Anything that reminded me of Jack, made me sick. It seemed like so long ago when we were shy and discovering our feelings, and now I wondered if the circumstances would damn everything that had come to be. I knew I loved him, but with what happened, I didn't know that things would ever be right, or the same again. I was pushing Jack away to protect myself. I was scared what would happen when I actually did remember the accident, and I didn't want to do that without Jack. But I had too. I had too fake and pretend. It wasn't fair to him. I uploaded a video of a flash game where I forced laughter and smiles. My subs knew I was faking so I wondered why I bothered. I felt bad they were losing out, but I couldn't control this. I was depressed. 

I drove to the hospital right away, I was going to be strong for him, because I knew he needed it. His Mother wasn't there yet. He was asleep when I got there so I just sat down in the far chair and watched him. His bruises were gone, the bandages long had been taken off of his head and I noticed the cast on his leg was no longer there. His wrist had a new brace on it, not a cast. He had a small scar, behind his right earlobe, from his surgeries. He had lost weight, a substantial amount and his face looked sunken in and had dark menacing circles under his eyes. My heart hurt, looking at his face.  
After about an hour, he stirred and woke up. His eyes slowly opened as he scanned the room when he came upon me, a slow, sleepy smile spread across his face. "You're being a creeper again." He said through a yawn. I chuckled.  
"Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."  
He shook his head and propped himself up. "Why are you so far away?"  
I shrugged and got up and sat next to him, he reached for my hand. "You look like Shite, Mark. When was the last time you slept?"  
"I took a nap before I came." I lied.  
"Bullshit." He said, scowling at me.  
"I had a hard time last night, was in pain... you know." he frowned looking at my wrapped arm. The break had healed to the point that the cast was necessary, but the burns took longer. Especially since I needed a skin graft. "I'm fine Jack. Really." I forced my best smile and clasped his hand a little tighter.  
We sat quietly for awhile, just holding hands.  
"I am being released day after tomorrow and will be flying home the day after that." He blurted, quickly.  
I nodded. "Good. You should be home for the last stages of your recovery." He frowned.  
"Mark... we never talked about us and-" I cut him off by kissing him. I didn't want to talk about him leaving, being so far away. I pulled away  
"I know, Not now." I couldn't, my heart already raced and the all to familiar feeling of bile rising in the throat made me cough. He could tell how upset I was so he just nodded. "Ma will be here soon." He said. My heart sank, but I smiled and nodded.  
"I love you, Mark." He said looking into my eyes. "That hasn't changed because of all this, you know?"  
"I love you too, Jack. I just am..." I cut myself off. He didn't need to be worried about me more than he was "glad you are going to be okay."

It was the day Jack was being released, I was waiting to take him to the hotel with his Mom. She had insisted that he stay with her, and I did too. After all, their flight left at 3am and it was closer to the airport. I was anxious to drive them, but I did so anyway. I helped get him up to their room and went back to get things in the car. I went back to the hotel room and his mother was not there. He looked at me, he was exhausted. This is the most activity he had had in over a month. I set his things down.  
"She wanted to give us some alone time." He explained. I nodded. This was it. He was leaving in 12 hours. I just stood there, feeling awkward and out of place. He was in bed, his hair was a mess, but he still looked hot. "Mark, come lay with me." I hesitated  
"I don't know..." His face fell  
"Please?" I went to him and laid next to him, stiffly. I didn't want to hurt him, and was trying to distance myself as a protective measure. I was dying inside.  
"It's just me, Mark." He said, sadly. He scooted himself over to me, wincing painfully.  
"See this is why I didn't want to-" He was kissing me before I knew what was happening. I kissed him back, no matter how much it hurt me, he needed this.  
He stopped, exhausted and laid on my chest, I held him. "I love you." I said to him, pain dripping off of my words.  
"Love you too, Mark." He said as he drifted off to sleep. He wanted to say more, but his body had been through enough and he couldn't beat the rest that was badly needed. He was sleeping deeply now, I recalled how this happened the night after the bar, and how happy I was. Now, my heart broken with every breath I could feel him breath. I sighed, kissed him on the forehead and gently pulled him off of my chest. I made sure he was comfortable and covered up.  
"Bye, Jackaboy. Take care of yourself." I said to his sleeping body. I shut off the lights and left. I found his mom and let her know he was sleeping, I hugged her and said my good byes. 

I went home to a cold, empty house. My arm hurt, but it was okay because it was a distraction from the heart break. I watched the hours tick by, when 3 am hit I cried. I cried hard and uncontrollably until I passed out from exhaustion myself. No nightmares happened, and when I woke up it was still dark. I thought I had only slept a few hours, but the clock read 10:00 PM. I was literally out all day. I stretched and turned over. The sadness hit me like a brick, he was gone. I got up and made a piece of toast. I didn't eat it, I couldn't bring myself too or do anything. I just wanted to sleep until the pain stopped. I knew it wouldn't, but it was what I wanted. My phone had five missed calls and many text messages. Three calls were from the hotel so I assumed it was Jack. The other two were Bob's number.  
There was a number I didn't know that texted me, but the messages were Jack.  
"Why did you leave?"  
"I'm sorry I fell asleep."  
"Are you okay?"  
"Mark, I love you. Please talk to me."  
"I am Skyping you when I get home, maybe then you will stop being an arse."  
He was hurt... I didn't mean to hurt him.  
There were three message from Felix  
"Jack left. Are you okay?"  
"I am here if you want to talk."  
"Just call me babee." I rolled my eyes, Felix was trying to make me smile... he did.  
The other two were from Bob, from about an hour ago.  
"So Jack said you just took off. He was/is worried sick. Are you okay?"  
A few minutes from the last text  
"Respond to me, Mark. Damn it."  
"That's it, I'm coming over and using my key." As if on queue, I heard the lock being turned and Bob and Wade stumbled in.  
"Hey." I just looked up at them, I am sure I looked like hell.  
"You asshole. I thought you were dead." Bob snapped  
"You okay?" Wade asked  
"I'm sorry. I was asleep. Honestly. I slept from about 4am until now. I didn't realize how exhausted I was-" I looked around  
Bob softened "Hey, why don't you let me make you some food? How long has it been since you have eaten anything?" He looked at the untouched toast on the counter. I shook my head "I can't eat Bob, I can't do anything. I am constantly on the verge of throwing up or panicking. I didn't even check if he got home okay" I frowned at myself.  
Wade shifted. "He did." He assured me. I wanted to be alone, I didn't want their sympathy and I couldn't stand how pathetic I must have looked.  
Bob walked towards me, pulled me into a quick hug and said. "Well you are up now and we are here. Lets go play some games." I winced, painful memories of Jack and the first night flooded back.  
"Stop. We are doing this. It is what we, no what you do." Bob motioned to Wade who set up the play station.  
"Yeah, I need someone to tell me how bad I am so I don't get a big head." Wade said. I smiled. I had some really amazing friends.  
We played long into the night and eventually Wade was snoring on the coach and I set Bob up in the guest room. I went back to my room and sat and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to check on Jack, make sure he was okay.  
It was 11:00 am in Ireland. I went to Skype and hovered over his name... he was online. I wasn't ready to see his face. I looked at Twitter.  
"I am back home and resting. I am sorry about my absence and to worry you all. I am alive. I am getting better. I am recovering... LIKE A BOSS!" Before I knew what I was doing I had already clicked the "heart" Skype popped up instantly... It was him. Damn it. I looked like hell. I answered, he was so pale and the dark circles under his eyes seemed darker.  
"Hi," I said, not making eye contact.  
"Hi." He said, his voice was strained. "So..."  
I was still looking down. "So." I said.  
"Mark, will yah fookin look at me. You left, I was worried sick. You didn't respond to me..."  
I looked up, but not into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I literally passed out. Bob and Wade came over... Bob said he thought I was dead." I laughed a little.  
"So, is this us now?" He said, with annoyance in his voice "All weird and shit?"  
I shrugged and sighed "Letting you leave was harder on me than I thought It would be. I am just barely breathing here, Jack."  
"Mark... I.." I held my hands up  
"Don't Jack," I whispered. "I can't. It's too painful." Tears threatened to fall. "I have to go..."  
"No! Please Mark..."  
"I'll call you later, really I have to-" before I could finish I was throwing up in my garbage can.  
"Are you okay?" I could hear him screaming into his microphone.  
I wiped my mouth on my sleeve. "I'm fine. Just don't feel well, Jack. I really do have to go. I will call call you later."  
"Okay..." He said hesitantly. "I love you. You know that right?"  
I nodded. "You too, bye." I choked out, disconnecting before heaving yet again in the trash can.

Bob and Wade left, and I was alone again. It was okay, when I was alone I didn't worry about everyone else and their feelings or what I must look like. I managed to eat a handful of grapes, but that was all I could muster. Days came and went, I wasn't even sure what day it was. I decided I wanted to drink. I pulled out the whiskey I had bought for Jack, and started to drink it straight from the bottle. It burned, but it was nice. It reminded me I was alive.  
As I started to feel a little looser I put on some music, I hadn't been able to listen too or sing since this whole thing happened, but I was now. I kept drinking, and suddenly had the urge to call Jack. It may be easier this way. I checked Skype, he was on. It was 3 in the morning there... I wondered why he wasn't resting... "Yeah, DaddyPlier." I thought to myself, bitterly. I called him.  
His face popped up, his eyes were red and puffy as well as his nose. He was crying. I frowned.  
"Hey..." I said softly.  
"Hey." he said looking down  
"Why are you awake? How are you being, doing I mean" My words started to slur. Damn it.  
"Mark..." He looked at me in the eyes. "Are you drunk?" He sniffled.  
"Mayhaps." I tried to wink, I am not sure what it looked like but he laughed. His genuine Jack laugh. My soul smiled.  
"You okay there, Markimoo?" He was smiling, God it was good to see his face.  
"I drinked all of yer whiskey, Jackieboys. I hate whiskey. But here we are"  
"Holy shit, Mark... drink some water, will ye? You don't drink that much."  
"Daddy Sepsiseyes" I teased holding the bottle to my lips and emptying the last few drops on my tongue. He ran his hands through his hair, I could a glint of the necklace I bought him, hanging around his neck. I smiled.  
"Mark, Will you talk to me now? I mean you are drunk as balls yeh?"  
"What should I say?" My words were slow and slurred, I was getting dizzy.  
"Why are you drunk, Mark?"  
"I'm and adult, I'm allowed." I said  
"Mark..."  
"Should I say I am scared? Lonely? That my arm fucking hurts? That you leaving is killing me? Of course Not. I don't want you to worry about me. You almost died."  
"So did you Mark. For fook sake." He looked down "So did you." He started to cry  
"Yeah, I do that a lot now too. I don't sleep...can't eat. Damn you Jack." I sighed, my voice hardly above a whisper "I don't sleep. When I do the nightmares are too much. I can't remember the accident, just fear, spinning, smoke." I put my face in my hands. "I wish you had never left." I said selfishly.  
"I had too-" I cut him off  
"I know, Jackaboy, I know." I looked at him, "Why were you crying when I called you?"  
"I'm sure you can guess." He said  
"I'm sorry I have been avoiding you, the pain is just-"  
"I know, Mark, I know." He cleared his throat. "Go. Get. Water." He pointed to my door. I nodded and did so, I chugged one glass and it made me sick. I then refilled the glass and went back.  
"That was gross." He kidded, I didn't realize he could hear me  
"Sorry, I am stoopid, this is stoopid." I couldn't talk right and the room was spinning.  
"You need to lie down. Call me back on your tablet, when you are laying down." He disconnected before I could argue. I changed and did as I was told.  
He answered right away, he was in his bed now with his tablet too. "Close your eyes now and sleep Mark. I love you, I am here."  
"Oh Jack, I am so sorry." I sobbed  
"Shh, I know. Sleep." I looked at him, he pursed his lips and kissed the air. I did the same.  
"I love you Jack. Please... I'm so..." The room spun endlessly and I finally passed out.


	14. Baby, you save me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is in a dark place, who will save him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the last chapter was very sad, it was supposed to be. It was to set up this one, which I decided to write now. It will be much like the chapters before the accident.  
> I am very thankful and appreciate those who reads this story, and I want to do right by you.  
> Thanks for sticking around through the feels. I hope you enjoy this chapter, its shorter than the others, but has the feels. (The Good Feels this time)

It had been a few months since Jack had gone home, I was still a mess. I wasn't really sleeping or eating. I didn't care about anything. Jack and I texted only a few times, because it was too painful. When I would sleep the same nightmare plagued me. The flipping, the heat, the smoke and then jerk awake. I was in bed, sleeping it off. I was drinking more now, it was the only thing that stopped the memories. I knew it was bad for me, it was bad for my life too. I hadn't really been making videos or paying attention to my Subs. I was too depressed to care. Part of me still cared very deeply, but I shut him up when I started to drink, too.

I was just thinking about getting out of bed, I reached for my glasses and a knock came to my door. Who the Hell? I stumbled to the door and there stood Jack. I must have been dreaming. I shook my head a few times, bad idea, the room spun. I shut the door and turned to leave, there was a knock again. I opened the door, Jack was still there.  
"You look and smell awful, Mark." He said as he pushed through me into my house. "You need a shower."  
I looked at him. "How the hell?"  
"In a plane Mark, like last time." He was pushing me towards the bathroom. "Shower. Now." I stumbled along and got in the shower. I numbly started to wash myself. I was still pretty hung over and was certain this was all a dream anyway.  
When I got out I smelled food and coffee. I walked past the mirror, dark circles now were under my eyes which were also blood shot and dull. I was pale. I did look awful. I walked to the Kitchen.  
"So I take it this is not a dream?" I said to him.  
"No, It's fookin not." There was no humor, just seriousness. He was straight forward no nonsense Jack. I only had seen this Jack when we were playing video games and I was dicking around to much when he wanted to play the game. But even so, this Jack was more stern, more serious.  
"Um...." I rubbed the back of my neck, my head was pounding.  
He placed a bottle of water and three Advil in front of me.  
"Drink the whole bottle of water and take the pills." He hadn't even looked at me, he went back to making food. My Kitchen was messy, dishes everywhere, uncleaned counter tops. Jack must have brought the food with him, everything in the fridge was expired. I drank all the water and took the pills. I had to hold on to the counter as the room started to spin again.  
Jack finally looked at me and softened a little bit. "Fooken hell, Mark. How much have you been drinking?"  
I shrugged. "Well you may be okay with killing yourself, but I am not. I made you food. Eat. You look like you've lost 30 pounds."  
I started to pick at my plate, eating only little bits, Jack sat across from me, not speaking. Quite Jack was something that only happened when he was nervous...or in this case angry? Was he mad? I couldn't tell.  
"Look, Jack... you didn't have to fly all the way here..."  
"Oh because you have been taking all of my calls?" He snapped, I winced.  
"Mark, this is not you. This is bull shit. I am not going to allow the man I love to destroy himself. So we are going to fookin fix this. Eat I said."  
I shook my head, I had only eaten a little, but It was more than I had eaten in a long time "I will be sick, if I eat anymore." I said, honestly. His face fell.  
"So you're not sleeping, or eating, just drinking? Is that it?"  
I had nothing to say. I was ashamed. I moved away from the table and sat on the couch. He followed and sat next to me

"I can't believe you came." I was looking down at my hands, is this how Jack felt when he did this? God what happened to me?  
"You left me no choice, did yeh?" He was mad, but I could tell he was scared too.  
"I just wanted the memories and nightmares to stop Jack. And they do when...." I trailed off. "This is your fault anyway. I was fine being alone before, then you came and had to make me fall in love with you. And then I almost killed us and you left. I don't know how to do this... I don't even know who I am any more."  
"Well, Let me remind you. You are Markiplier, and you still have subs who are very loyal after the content you have been creating, if you bother at all. You are the man that I love. Yes, I love you. I fookin love you. You are being moron right now, slowly killing yourself. I am so mad at you, but I am scared to death. I was scared I was going to find you dead...." He trailed off and tears filled his eyes  
"Jack... I am so sorry-"  
"Save the words, Mark. Lets make it better." I looked up, tears were rolling down my cheeks.  
"Jack, I. Oh God, I'm so lost." I said to him, his face softened and suddenly he gathered me up into his arms and held me closely to him. I started to sob, I was a moron, so stupid. I was wasting what was essentially a second chance at life. He shushed me and ran his fingers through my hair and held me. After I had finished he pulled me off of him and started to kiss me, with so much passion it overwhelmed me. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I will always find you, Mark. No matter how low you are. I will not allow you to destroy yourself." He shifted so we were laying together and still held me. We fell asleep.  
I was flipping again, this time could see my knuckles on the steering wheel and felt a large impact, it was dark... but then I smelled the smoke. I screamed.  
"Mark, its okay, wake up." I was still in Jack's arms on my couch covered in sweat. I pulled away and sat with my head in my hands.  
"Are they always that bad?" He asked putting his hand on my back."  
"Yeah." I said muffled though my hands.  
"When did they start?"  
"Right after you woke up from you coma."  
"Jaysus, Mark. Why didn't you tell me?"  
"You had enough on your plate..."  
"Tell me about it." I shook my head.  
"Mark, I remember."  
I was confused. "What?"  
He spoke quietly "I remember the accident. Came to me in a dream... well a delusion is more like it." He chuckled softly  
"Wait, you remember?" He nodded  
"All I dream is the car flipping and then smoke. This time I saw my knuckles on the steering wheel and felt the impact..."  
He nodded again. "Do you want me to piece it together, because I can. I know everything that happened. " I shook my head "Not yet... I..."  
"Okay, that's fine. We both need a shower, I'll take the guest room shower, then how about we go out to dinner?" A pang of disappointment stabbed in my gut, at the thought of not showering with him, but I nodded anyway. I was lucky he was even here.  
I got cleaned up, I shaved for the first time in months. I actually felt good. I dressed up nicely, brushed my teeth and sat on the couch. Jack followed shortly after, he looked good.  
"You look nice, Mark." He said, blushing. Oh there he was, I laughed.  
"You too, but i would have used less blush." He flipped me off. We got in the car and started our journey.  
I was taking him my favorite restaurant, but that also meant driving on the same interstate the accident happened on. My heart started to race even before approached the interstate  
"Mark...."  
"I'm fi-" I cut myself, No, no more lying. "You know what I am not fine. I am scared. We are going to be traveling on the interstate the accident occurred on and I would be lying if I said I had done so since the accident. I also would be lying if I said that I didn't experience extreme anxiety whenever I drive." I glanced at him, his face drained of color.  
"Well I would be lying if I said I was fine too," He swallowed hard "but I think we need to do this, together." He placed his hand on my leg. I turned on the interstate and started to drive. I felt as if I were going to throw up.  
"I'm so proud of you, Mark. You are doing fine." He was breathing heavily, I guess fear was gripping him, too.  
"You okay, Jackaboy?"  
"Yeh and no. I will be." I reached down and patted his hand on my leg quickly and returned my hand to the wheel. Suddenly there was a flash and I was starting to remember. There was the bump... then the guard rail.... flipping. Oh my God, I had to stop driving. I safely exited the interstate, we were going to have to take the back way. I pulled over and started to shake.  
"Mark....?" Jack was white as a ghost, he was scared too.  
"I'm so sorry... Jack. I didn't mean to scare you."  
He shook his head "'Sokay. Are you alright?"  
"I- I remember." I whispered. "Oh my God Jack... I remember." I undid my belt and reached across the car and pulled him into a kiss. My eyes were pouring tears "You stupid idiot. Risking yourself for me. Christ, Jack." He blushed.  
"I didn't know what I was doing... really. I just acted."  
"The fucking car blew up and you pushed me out of the way... with a broken leg and wrist.... and bleeding head wound. I don't know how that was just "action"  
He shrugged. "Do you have nightmares about it?"  
"Few times I have... I dont get to you in time, the car blows up..." I kissed him again.  
"I am so sorry for everything I put you through. I love you, Jack. So much it hurts."  
"I know Mark. I forgive you. I am sorry I was so mean to you earlier-" I cut him off  
"I needed it. I really did. I am lucky I have someone who loves me enough to flew to another country to save me"  
We held each other awhile until my stomach grumbled. He laughed "Lets go eat, yah big doof."

Dinner had been great, I opted not to drink alcohol for the first time in god knew how many nights. Jack and I talked and laughed, like a normal couple. I drove us home the entire way on the interstate, with no issues. Maybe the nightmares would stop now too. We got home and I yawned.  
"Now what?" I asked. Jack stepped towards me, pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss me hard. His hands were twisted in my hair. He moaned and gyrated his hips into me.  
I moaned, which encouraged him more. I was hard to believe a few months ago he laid lifeless in a hospital bed.  
I push against him, he pulled away and looked at me.  
"If you aren't ready for this..." He trailed off.  
I scooped him up and carried him to my bed. "Jack, I have missed you so much. My heart felt like, like it was literally broken. I want you."  
He leaned up and pulled me towards him and kissed me violently. Suddenly we were both naked, touching each other and kissing. I broke away only to grab the lube. I swooped down to my knees taking him into my mouth before he knew what I was doing.  
"Fook, Mark" He moaned throwing his head back. I sucked him hard and fast as he roughly tangled his hands in my hair. I moaned too.  
"I am not going to last long, if you keep that up." He whined, Good. I wasn't stopping. All of a sudden he went ridged and he came in my mouth.  
"Jaysus Fook, Mark." He moaned.  
I puled away, swallowing it all. "Was that good, Jackaboy?"  
He was panting. "Yeh." He pulled on my shoulders, being careful of the burned arm and pushed me down on the bed. He got the lube and started to apply it, then straddle me. He grit his teeth "You're so... Big" He grunted  
"We can stop, Jack..." He sunk all the way down onto me. "Holy shit, Jack. Oh my God." He was bouncing up and down, I was hitting him just right and he was moaning. I looked at him, he was beautiful. "I love you, Jack. So much."  
"Me too Mark, me too. I am going to cum again soon..." He warned.  
"I'm close, very close." I started to meet his thrusts, he came all over my chest as I filled him full. He collapsed down onto my chest as I stroked his hair.  
"I am very glad you are here, Jack."  
"Me too. I missed yeh too, yeh know." I slowly slid out of him and lead him to the shower.  
We both washed each other and once we were done put our PJ's on and climbed into bed. I held Jack against me, nuzzling his neck.  
"I want you to promise me something, Mark." He whispered in the darkness.  
"What?"  
"If you are ever in that dark of a place again, jus fookin tell me, Okay? I would have been here ages ago If I knew it was this bad..."  
"I'm Sorry, Jack. I promise."  
"I mean how else are we going to keep this going for the fan girls?" I laughed  
"Septiplier away!" I said, in the goofiest voice I could muster.  
"Go to sleep you doof." I pulled him closer, and held him tighter  
"I love you."  
"I love you more, always." Jack said as he drifted to sleep. But he was wrong. There was no way he could love me more than I loved him. I was whole once again, my soul started to turn from darkness to light again. Jack was my soulmate and without him I was nothing. He save me twice now. Who else would have been able to do that? He was, without a doubt, the brightest shining knight in armor; at least he was to me.


	15. Without you, I'm not okay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working through things can be hard, really, really hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote another chapter. It is distracting me from my own shit. Please pardon typos etc, I'm kinda distracted. Sorry.  
> It once again a shorter chapter and it does have some angst but also some juicy parts.  
> Enjoy, lovelies :)

Jack slowly shifted away from Mark's hold. He was dead asleep and the Irishmen wondered how long it had been since he had actually slept properly. It was a little after 9:00 and Jack decided to start some house work. He washed dishes, scrubbed and polished. He came across a box full of empty liquor bottles. He sighed and took them out along with the garbage. He knew it was bad, but had no idea exactly how bad. Mark was so depressed without him, but if Jack was honest, he wasn't much better off. His heart ached to be so many miles from him. Jack started to get sore, his wrist was throbbing and his head started to ache. He took his migraine prescription and continued cleaning. The migraines had not been too bad, but the doctors gave him a preventative medication, just in case. He started dinner in the crock pot and decided to sit outside and Vlog.

"Top of the mornin to yah laddies! I am back in LA, visitin Mark. He's been struggling lately so I am going to kick his ass back n shape. I have some videos ready to go but I don't know how long I'll be here. " Jack shifted nervously. "I told you I was in an accident, well Mark and I both and that changes yah. We are healing physically, but emotionally we both have work to do. The accident was bad. We both almost died. I still struggle with nightmares, pain and some migraines." He smiled at the camera. "But I will get there. You can too. Don't ever let a horrible thing take your fight away. You can beat whatever haunts you, you will be better than you ever were. I love you guys and am Lucky to have you all. " He smiled, gave a little wave and turned off the camera.

I woke up and Jack was gone, for a moment I thought it was all a dream, but the room smelled like him. I got up and the room started to spin, I was drying out. This was the longest I had been sober for a very long time. I grabbed some clothes and decided to take a shower, I had to hold the walls. My body ached and I felt sick. I got clean and pulled on my clothes, which were sweats and a t shirt. No way I was wearing Skinny jeans today. I went to the kitchen, which was spotless, and saw a meal in the crock pot. I instantly felt guilty and then somewhat angry. God, Jack was taking care of me like I was a child that couldn't take care of himself. How dare he? I was fine. I went to find him, I wanted to yell. I saw him on the deck and opened the door, just as I was about to storm out, I found him, with his face in his hands, crying. All the anger melted away. I stood back and watched him, I didn't want to intrude.  
"Fook." He said through sobs. His whole body shook, I couldn't stand it. I rushed out to him and pulled him into my arms. "Hey..." He looked up at me and shoved me away I was shocked... it didn't hurt, but I was surprised  
"Um.."  
"I saw all the liquor bottles, you asshole. Why? Did you want to die? Christ Mark..." I slumped away from him, not making eye contact, ashamed.  
"No, I wasn't trying to die, I was trying to stop the pain, the fear... missing you."  
"Well you could have died, ye bastard."  
"I am sorry that I didn't deal with losing you as well as you did me Jack. Fuck." I snapped at him. "I guess it was all roses for you." I was being mean now, I was ashamed.  
"Are you fookin kiddin me with that shite, Mark?" He cried harder. "Do you know how abandon I felt when I woke up in that hotel and you were gone. No note, no nothing. You didn't answer my text or calls..." He lowered his head "I was fookin destroyed, dude."  
I was shocked "Abandoned? Oh..." What was I doing, I fucked things up so badly. He shrugged  
"Jack, I- My God, what are we doing?" I was balling my fists."This isn't going to work is it?"  
Jack inhaled sharply. "W-what?"  
"Us, you, me, this...."  
He turned white, and panicked. "No! I mean yes... We can. Please- don't say what I think you are about too-" He sounded like he was being stabbed, the pain in his words touched my soul.  
"I am so broken right now, Jack-"  
"Don't. Don't you fookin pull the "it's not you its me." bullshit. I can't..." He put his hands in his head again "I won't survive losing you-" He said quietly lifting his head "again"  
I couldn't take it anymore, I pulled him into my lap, cuddled him into my chest and rocked him gently. I loved this man, and I was the reason he was aching so badly. I hated myself.  
"No... shhh baby." I murmured, it didn't sound as awkward as I expected. "I am not going anywhere. We separated once, and you see how that went." I sighed "I haven't even been sober a day... If you leave..." He was quiet now, no more sobbing. "Jack, I won't survive it either, man." He wrapped his arms around my neck. "Jack I am so sorry. I have hurt you so badly. I love you, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I am so lost right now, but the only joy I have found is when you are here. Please... Forgive me. I am so sorry." Tear rolled down my face and I whispered. "Please don't hate me."  
He stiffened and pulled away from my chest. "Mark- I love you. I came here help. I was so scared you were dead. You are the most Important thing to me. I could never hate you. It's not even in my nature..." I laughed  
"Well, that's true." He smiled. "Am I forgiven?"  
"Are you going to stop being an arse?"  
I nodded, "I'll try my best."  
"Forgiven." I kissed his lips, they were so soft from him crying. I ran my hand through his green poof of hair. I blushed  
"Ah, thanks for cleaning up my house, Jack. I am sorry you had to see it like that.... and that you had to do it."  
He waved me off "No, don't worry. You need to be taken care of and if I remember properly, I owe you one." He winked at me and pulled himself off of my lap. I chuckled. "Now I have a vlog to upload and a shower to take." I nodded as he went back inside. I let the sun warm my face, drying my tears. I was so lucky. I was so in love. I wasn't sure how, but I was going to fix this so that the next time he went home, It didn't leave me unable to function.  
Jack was in the shower, his phone kept chirping. I was about to check it when he came out, with a towel wrapped around his waist and it hung low on his hips. I sighed "Damn Jack, You are hot." He blushed and grabbed his phone.  
"Hot date?" I asked  
"Yes I am." He said turning around, removing the towel so I watched his bare ass walk into the guest room and close the door. I was paranoid, who was he talking to? "Stop it, Mark." I thought.  
He came out fully clothed and plopped down next to me on the couch. "So what do you want to do?"  
I looked at my hands, shy and embarrassed, wondering who he was talking to. I still needed his help with something important, so I let it go for now.  
"Mark?"  
"Can you... help me record a game?" I blurted, shaking my head "I am such a selfish prick. My subs are probably disgusted with me."  
"When was the last time you looked at anything...Twitter, Youtube."  
My voice was a whisper. "I- I can't remember, Jack." 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my recording studio.  
"Look at Twitter."  
"Jack-"  
"Just do it, Mark!" So I did. There were so many notifications, people were Tweeting at me to stay strong, to get well soon, to get help, that they were there if I needed to talk.  
"My God...."  
"Yeh. We have amazing fans, Mark. I will help you, but I don't want you to dick them around anymore. We share subs and I have already been fielding a lot of "Where's Mark?" comments. So have Bob and Wade. Who, by the way, still love you very much. You owe them an apology, too. " I nodded. I looked at him and sighed. I started to type a Tweet.  
"To my dedicated, loyal and loving followers. I love you. I am sorry. I am getting help."  
Jack smiled at me. "Now don't go back." I felt like shit, I was in withdrawal. I started to shake, pretty badly. This was Hell.  
"Mark... maybe we should get you to hospital."  
"No, No... Just... can you get me some water?"  
He ran upstairs and came back with three bottles. I drank an entire bottle and started to feel better. We sat quietly for awhile.  
"So what do you want to record?" He asked as if nothing happened  
"Would you rather?" I asked, he smiled  
"Sure."  
I inhaled sharply as I hit record. "Hello everybody I'm Markiplier. First of all, I am not well. I have not been well since the accident and I am getting help. I appreciate all of your support and love. I am blessed. Truly." tears ran down my face, I wiped them away and continued. "With me today is my favorite Leprechaun-" He slugged my arm  
"Fook you, Mark!" He said as he came into the camera frame. "Top of the mornin to yah Laddies! Mark and I are playing would you rather!"  
We ended up recording about an hour. Jack sat with me quietly as I edited, split up the footage and then rendered it.

I looked at him, he smiled at me. "You know, this is twice you have saved me, Jack."  
He blushed "Eh, I love Ye, what was I supposed to do?" I pulled him into a kissed and he moaned into my mouth.  
"Hmm" I said "Getting turned on, my little Leprechaun?" He huffed  
"Shut up, ye bastard. Call me that again and I'll Fook you... right here, against this desk!" I moaned and became instantly hard. Holy Shit.  
"Do- Do you really want to fuck me, Jack?" I asked, nervous.  
"Yeah... but, It's fine We don't have too." I smirked  
"Just a new Idea to me." He looked at into my eyes, looking for reassurance. What he saw was confident lust. I looked him dead in the eyes.  
"Leprechaun." His eyes flashed wild and suddenly I was being pulled out of the chair and pushed up against the desk, face first, roughly.  
He bent down, pulled my head back to him by my hair and whispered in my ear "I fookin warned you, Mark." I almost came right there. He started to lick and kiss down my neck, nipping my skin occasionally. Suddenly my clothes were being removed and I was naked. I felt so exposed, vulnerable.  
"Don't move, Mark." He growled. Holy hell it was hot. He was gone, I couldn't tell how long but it felt like hours. When he came back, he smacked my ass, hard. I gasped.  
"Oh, you like that..." He smacked me again and I groaned. He laughed "You are going to enjoy this, Markimoo." Suddenly fingers were at my entrance. I tensed up. "Hey, relax, Mark. I'll be gentle." Slowly he was teasing me, then he lubed up his fingers and started to push them into me. One at a time.  
"Fuck, Jack. Oh my God." It burned a little, but then he found my spot. "Oh My GOD" I screamed.  
"I know, amazin, right?" He purred. "Wait till it's me dick." I moaned loudly, this was so hot.  
"Yes, now please." I said.  
"Oh, eager for me to fook yah, are yeah?" I nodded. He reached his free hand around me and twisted one of my nipples between his forefinger and thumb.  
"Oh my God Jack. Please... "  
"Please what Marky?"  
"Holy shit-" He kept twisting and probing my insides.  
"Are yeh ready, Mark?" He whispered in my ear, his lips jut barely touching me.  
"Fuck." I groaned "Yes. Now, Please."  
He aimed himself towards my entrance and I felt him slowly sink into me, inch by inch. I hurt, but I liked it.  
"Oh God, Mark." He grunted "So tight." He angled and hit my prostate with every stroke. "Am I hittin yeh right?"  
"Oh my God, yes. Jack... this... it's"  
"I imagine you are feeling like I felt our first time." He chuckled and increased his pace. Harder and harder, coaxing the orgasm out of me only by the constant banging on my prostate. "Jack-" I whined "So, So close."  
"Mmm, Yeah baby, cum from me being up inside you. It's so fookin hot." He sped up, grabbed my hair and yanked my head back. He leaned forward, biting and kissing my neck.  
"Oh Jack... Please-"  
"That's it Mark. Cum baby. I am so close..." He started to gasp for breath  
"Yes... right there-" I screamed and arched my back. "Cumming-" was all I could say as spurt after spurt erupted from me.  
"Fookin Hell, Mark, you're gonna crush me, you are so tight..." He slammed into me one more time. "Oh fooook" He moaned as he emptied himself inside of me.  
We both panted and regained composure of Ourselves . He pulled out and I winced a little.  
"Did I hurt Yeh?"  
"No more than I wanted." I said and smiled.  
"I love you, yah Doof."  
"Love you too, Leprechaun." He slapped my ass.  
"Shower, then dinner. Should be ready about then." I nodded. God how did I get so lucky. I loved him more than anyone had ever loved before. At least thats how it felt for me.


	16. Note from the Author

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter

I want to apologize for my absence. I have had some serious medical conditions arise so I have been concentrating on that. I hope to be able to update a chapter soon. I have had requests to continue, and I will. 

If you want to keep up with me follow me on Twitter: jacks25plusfans

 

Thank you to all my readers. I appreciate it, Lovelies.


	17. And we will be happy and Loved.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jack, together forever.

Jack had been here for three weeks. I wondered when he would have to head home. The secretive phone calls has continued, but I had come to the conclusion that if he wanted me to know, he would tell me. I had pretty much dried out for the most part, Jack had taken all of the alcoholic beverages out of my house. I was grateful for that.  
We had gotten into a domestic way of living, both recording videos, both cooking, doing chores, it was so normal. I was still not completely allowing myself to become fully dedicated, because I knew he would need to go home soon.  
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, Jack had gone with Bob to do something, I wasn't sure what, but it didn't matter. I trusted them both. The only problem was when I was alone, I wanted to drink. I ignored it, for the most part, but I had been alone for awhile now.  
I needed to stop this, I was a grown man and it wasn't fair to use Jack as a crutch. I loved him too much for that.  
I was in the end stages of baking a cake and making dinner when Jack and Bob walked in laughing. I smiled.  
"Hey guys, have a good day?" I asked  
"Sure did." Bob said winking at me.  
"Well dinner will be ready shortly. Bob please stay, You know your my friend too." I used a fake whiny voice to attempt to joke, but Jack frowned. I guess the tone wasn't joking.  
"Well, If I have too," Bob poked back at me, choosing to ignore my tone. He was a good friend.  
I didn't ask what they did all afternoon, though it was killing me. I wasn't going to be that person. After dinner Jack went to shower, leaving Bob and I alone.  
"Stop it, Mark."  
"What?"  
"Overthinking things. Just trust me, trust Jack. It will be fine."  
I nodded "Okay."  
"I know you don't want to play the roll of jealous, suspicious lover, so don't" As if it were that easy. Still I nodded.  
"Wanna play some games?" He nodded.  
Jack reappeared, smelling like my body wash. I chuckled.  
"I am going to bed," he announced, it was only 7:00. Bob cocked an eyebrow at him  
I looked at him "Are you okay?"  
"Jus a bit of a headache. You hang out with Bob, I'll be fine." I smiled, he kissed me on the top of the head and left.  
"He's had a long day." Bob commented. I nodded  
I looked at Bob. "I am feeling left out. I am still struggling. Today was hard, I could't feel myself sinking again." I looked down  
"Did you call your sponsor?" I frowned, Jack had convinced me to join AA and see a therapist for the PSTD of the accident. My sponsor was a great guy, but the mere mention on it brought me shame.  
"He wasn't around, either.  
"Mark, give yourself more credit. You are doing well, considering."  
I sighed "I shouldn't even be like this at all, Bob. I shouldn't be so weak, so needy-"  
"And yet..." Bob unpaused the game and we played for a few more hours before he headed home. I played a little longer on my own and ended up falling asleep.  
A sudden scream woke me up, it was Jack. I rushed to my bedroom. He was covered in sweat and clutching his head.  
"No.... Mark...." He moaned. I sat on the edge of the bed next to him.I was slowly rubbing his back.  
"Jack, wake up..."  
"You need to go..." He moaned in his sleep.  
"Hey... Jack..." I gently shook him, he slowly started to wake up and moaned in obvious pain.  
"Hey there...what's wrong?"  
"Nightmare, me fookin head..."  
"What do you need?"  
"Water, me bag." I got him both things, he was in a great deal of pain.  
"So, listen... these meds I take-" He stopped taking a deep breath and opening the bottle. "They make me... strange. At home I woke up outside. So.."  
"Take them, I will keep you safe, I promise" He nodded and reluctantly swallowed to large white pills. I laid next to him and he laid on my chest. I could see the scar on his head, I silently cursed again at this accident that had changed so much. I wrapped my arms around him and we fell asleep, for how long, I don't know.  
Jack started to move, which woke me up. I looked down at him, he was still sleeping. "Fook you, Mario!" He muttered, I laughed. He sat up suddenly, I could sense his panic. "You're okay, Jack."  
"Wh-where am I?"  
"In my bed."  
"M-mark?" He sounded confused, I turned the lamp near my bed on so he could see my face.  
"Yeah, Jack, I'm here." He still looked scared.  
"Mark, please. Please don't leave me..." he pleaded. I couldn't tell if it was just the medication, or if the medications allowed his inhibitions to be lowered enough to admit his insecurities. He was so scared, it made my stomach twist.  
"No, Never. I am right here." I grabbed his hand and skimmed the thumb across his knuckles. He clutched my hand.  
"I-I don't feel right..." His eyes started to dart around the room.  
"I know, it is your meds. How is your head?"  
"I don't want to be here!" He yelled, angry. My heart sank. That hurt.  
"Where do you want to be, Jack?" I said softly. He looked at me, relaxing a little bit.  
"I don't know..." He started to shake, I grabbed the blanket  
"Lay back down, sweetheart. You are safe." He curled back down to my chest. The use of a pet name was new, I did not intend to use it, but it just rolled off my tongue.  
"Mark?"  
"Yeah, Jack?"  
"I am scared of memories, dreams. They keep creepin back in." He groaned  
"Me too."  
"I don't want to lose you. I am so scared you will just go back to drinkin and I will lose you. I will lose me if I lose us." He sighed "Mark, I am so confused right now."  
"I know, but I love you. I want you, hell I obviously need you. We are going to get through this, and I am so sorry..." His stomach growled, loudly, I chuckled.  
"So Is it time for a midnight snack? You apparently are hungry." He looked up at me,eyes shinning.  
"Had me at snack..." He laughed, oh it was nice to hear him laugh.  
After insisting he wear on of my hoodies we went in to the kitchen and I put a pizza in the oven. We sat quietly while it cooked when suddenly Jack stood up and started to shake again. I rushed over to him and held him so he didn't fall. "I got you."  
"I love you, Mark." I kissed him quickly on the forehead. "I love you too." I managed to get him to sit back down.

We had been eating in a comfortable silence when he spoke up.  
"Mark, do you believe in destiny? Fate?"  
"I supposed to some extent, I do."  
"Everything happens for a reason. You n me, we are destiny, fate." he took another bite and finished. "I mean neither one of use is gay, but we are in love..."  
I cocked my eyebrow. "Wait, holy shit. You are a man?" We both laughed and life was good for the moment. 

The next morning I woke up alone again. I sighed sadly but showered any way and went to the kitchen. I started to clean up the mess from the midnight snack and found coffee made a note  
"Had ta do some stuff, will be back later.-With Bob"  
What the hell were they up to? I felt so left out and childish, getting angry and offended. "Stop that." I chastised myself "You are not his keeper." I sighed and decided to record. I had slowly been getting back into the swing of things and before I knew it, I was sucked into a game and actually having fun. I was sure how many hours had passed, or how long Jack had been silently watching me, but suddenly he laughed and I jumped.  
"Oh don't stop on my accord." He smiled widely  
"I see your head is better?"  
"Yeh," He came over and kissed me, cupping my face. He pulled away as I smiled. "You are too cute for your own good." he chirped. I glanced at the clock, I had been recording for three hours.  
"Holy shit." I mused out loud, he laughed.  
"Been awhile since you were sucked in, huh?" I nodded. "So I assume that means that you have not eaten?" I shook my head.  
"Well I picked up food, its all ready on the table."  
"Thanks!"  
When I went upstairs the table was set and in the middle was a single red rose.  
"Aww, for me?"  
"Flowers can be gender neutral, right?" I nodded. We were eating and smiling at one another, this was so domestic. I felt so contented with him there, eating, like we were a family. Then the doubts snunk back in. Where and what did he keep leaving to do? Why could I be a part of it? What was going on? I must have been wearing my feelings on my face, as Jack asked.  
"What's wrong, Mark?"  
"Just thinking..." It wasn't a lie.  
"-bout what?"  
I inhaled sharply. "I have tried to give you, I don't know, Space? No be overbearing or controlling. Would you say I was succeeding?"  
He narrowed his eyes. "Yeh...."  
"So... you keep leaving and won't tell me why, so I wonder..."  
"Do you trust me?" He looked deeply into my eyes  
"Yes."  
"Good. Just give me a little more time. I promise, everything is okay." I nodded and dropped it, feeling dejected and embarrassed.

I had an AA meeting that night and when I got home, Jack was on the phone.  
"Yeah... Thanks so much Wade. I didn't even realize that I had- oh Mark's back."  
Oh so Wade was in on "it" too. Perfect.  
"Yeh, let me ask him." He turned to me  
"Prop hunt with Wade and Bob in 30?" He asked  
"Sure." I said, irritated.

We had played for about an hour or so recording some good material. Jack was using my setup to edit and I was relaxing on the couch. I must have dozed off because I awake to muffled voice. I got up, opened to door the my recording studio and heard Jack on the phone once again.  
"It doesn't matter. I have made up my mind." He paused  
"He doesn't even know yet, I don't know how to tell him."  
"I just can't do this anymore. I know, and I will miss it, but I can't live like this."

My world stopped. He was planing on leaving me this whole time. Tears sprung to my eyes which blinked back. I wanted to drink, badly. There was nothing in the house, Jack had seen to that. I heard foot steps coming up the stairs, when he popped his head out he smiled.  
"Oh you're up. I let you sleep. You were really out."  
I said nothing, anger boiling inside of me. How could he be so sweet and calm when my world was ending. What kind of a monster was he?  
He walked over to me and was about to kissed me, I backed away  
"What? Afraid you have bad breath?" He laughed looking in to my eyes, slowly he stopped and worry crossed his face.  
"Mark? What is it?" He paused "Are you drunk?"  
I lost it  
"How the fuck would I be drunk? You took all of it and threw it away, remember? Asshole." I was seething.  
"Wow... okay. Should we call your sponsor? Do you need to talk with him?" He still didn't get it  
"It's fucked up how you are still acting like you care, Jack. Why don't you just leave. Its what you want any way." My eyes were cold, my voice was sharp and angry."  
"What- what are you talkin-"  
"Oh cut the shit, Jack, Christ." I raked my hand through my hair. "You know I have eyes and ears. I see and over hear things."  
He was still confused and starting to get hurt. A tinge of regret struck me.  
"I am sure Bob or Wade will house you until you leave." I blurted. The color drained from his face.  
"The actual fuck, Mark?"  
"Wow, I am impressed at your lying skills, Jackaboy. Had me fooled. Who are you trying to fool now?"  
"Lying? Mark... what the fookin hell is going on. Something is wrong with you."  
I was incredulous "ME?! Sorry that my shattered heart is an inconvenience to YOU!" I was pacing and lowered my voice. "How can you stand there and play the victim? How can you be so cold, lying straight to my face like it doesn't even matter. Like we never mattered?" The tears started to fall now.  
"Mark... something got crossed..."  
"Oh you mean between all the time you were just gone, me not even knowing where you were? Or the secret phone calls that I overhear bits and pieces of? How on earth could things get crossed? Fuckin mystery huh?" I snapped, sarcastically.  
His face fell and he blushed, knotting his hands. "Mark-"  
"I heard you on the phone, just now. So if you want to leave, then get the hell out. Honestly I can't take anymore Jack. If you care about me at all-" I begged, shaking.  
He rushed me and wrapped his arms around me, I struggled to get away, but he wouldn't allow it.  
"Stop. Mark. Calm down."  
"Fuck off, Jack. Let me go."  
"NO. You have it all wrong. Jaysus, this is my fault." I stilled. He pulled away so I was at arms length, holding my shoulders, looking into my eyes.  
"I am so sorry, My love. I didn't think this was effecting you so much." I still couldn't believe he was saying this.  
"Really? I love you Jack... and then you are trying to leave me without even telling me. Were you just going to leave while I was sleeping? Pay back for the hotel?" I was vulnerable, exposed and my voice dripped with raw emotion.  
"Oh Mark." He whispered regret heavily laced in the air. "I never was leaving. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, ever. I would never "Pay you back" tears ran down his face.  
"But- I don't understand." I choked. He pulled me into a hug and held me, rocking me slowly.  
"I love you so much that it scares me, Mark. The thought that I made you feel anything less that desired, loved, wanted is abhorrent to me. I am so sorry, my love. "You are everything to me. Without you the world is grey, there is only color with you." He pulled me away.  
"I am so confused, why are you saying this? It hurts enough as it is, Jack."  
"Mark I am not leaving. I never was, I never am. I can't be without out you. Our time apart damn near destroyed me, and I know what it did to you. I am not leaving... I am moving here." Shock overtook my face, I didn't believe him. He saw it. "Hang on." He pulled out his phone and called Bob.  
"Hey, I am sorry it's so late. No, he's not. I need you to tell him what we have been doing." He put it on speaker, Bob's sleepy voice said  
"Hey buddy. Take some deep breaths, I can hear you hyperventilating." I hadn't even noticed I was, so I did as I was told. He continued. "For the last few weeks Wade and I both have been helping Jack arrange and get his things here. He is storing them at our places until he gets one of his own. He didn't want to add any stress to your recovery, so he was waiting to tell you."  
"But..." He cut me off  
"I have some of his stuff here, you can come over right now and see it if you want. There was no malice, Mark. I promise."  
I didn't know what to say.  
"Thanks Bob, go back to sleep." Jack hung up the phone and looked up at me.  
I sunk to my knees, unable to stand any longer. The room spun and my heart pounded. Jack keeled next to me, not speaking.  
"Jack- I" He shushed me by kissing me roughly. Soon he had pushed me onto my back and was on top of me. We clutched at each other gasping. We were caught up in each other and before we knew it he was inside of me.  
"I love you, so much." He grunted as we made love.  
When we were done he held me, rubbing my back. "Let's get of the Kitchen floor, Yeh?" I laughed but agreed.  
"Jack- I am so sorry... I was so mean..." He shook his head.  
"S'my fault, Mark. I am not upset."  
We both showered, tenderly washing each other and went to bed. We were not sleeping when he said.  
"Are you okay, Mark?"  
"Yeah... Who where you talking to?"  
"On the phone earlier?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Ma." He sighed. "She;s worried, course. I have to do this."  
"I love you Jack, please don't ever keep anything like this from me again..."  
"I won't, I swear it. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you." I pulled him in my arms  
"Move in with me."  
"Are you sure? I can get a place of my own and we can discuss that later... I don't want to rush into anything."  
"You will be paying for something you don't use." I said  
"You are right..."  
"So we will get your stuff here." With that we fell asleep. He was mine. I was his. There was nothing else that mattered, everything else would sort itself out.  
There was no more loneliness for us, no more pain. From here on out we were going to be happy, no matter what. I loved Jack and Jack loved me. 

And if it killed me, we would live happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this story. This is the end. I am not certain where to go with it, and I pleased how it turned out. I have major health issues right now and I am not certain If I want to continue to write. I am pretty sure this story is over, but if you would like me to write others, let me know.  
> I am flattered by the love and support I have gotten.  
> If you want, my Twitter handle  
> jacks25plusfans
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU. <3 <3


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